Hello everybody. Even Stevens here, welcoming all you wahoo maniacs to the year’s first session of 4DaysRest.com, your new home for everything Phillies. As you know, the Fightins had a Cinderella season last year. Despite the fact that *toxic* owners David Montgomery & Co. wanted the team to lose so they could draft another guy who wouldn’t sign with the team (ahem, J.D. Drew), the Phillies won the World Series for the first time since I was just a floating spermie in daddy’s sac. Mastermind General Manager Pat Gillick is gone now, having handed off the team to retired utility-man Roger Dorn…er, I mean, Ruben Amaro, Jr.
Here’s how we think the handoff went:
Pat Gillick: “I can’t do it anymore, Rube. I’m hanging it up as General Manager. We went out on top as champions and now you can finally have the job you’ve been waiting for. You can stop submitting applications through CraigsList for the Houston job, now.”
Ruben Amaro, Jr.: ”But what will I do? I don’t really know what I’d be doing in this job. I just wanted the title, Pat.”
Gillick: ”Listen, I can’t hold your hand all the way through here. Let The Bat walk and sign that ugly guy from Seattle. That’s all the advice I’m leaving you with.”
Amaro: ”But Paaaatttt, you can’t just leave me hanging like that with one bit of advice. I’m helpless and scared…what are we going to do besides that?”
Gillick: ”Why do you think I brought Eric Bruntlett in with that Lidge deal? He’s a jack of all trades and he gets it done. If you ever get stuck, trust the beard.”
…ANDDDD now that we’re into full swing with the 2009 season, our trusted Lefty Ace is having trouble getting it together. Thus, we bring you 4 Days’ Rest - a tribute to the only sure thing in baseball. For Cole Hamels, like so many others, “it’s really all about the rest.”


#1 by Joe at May 9th, 2009
Yay!