Off-season baseball writing sucks dick. No one gives enough of a fuck to read any of it, the writers resort to talking about hypothetical signings and trades, and everyone essentially shits themselves trying to keep their job in a mostly dead market.
Well, I don’t get paid, I don’t give a fuck about ‘good journalism’, and I think hypothetical trades are stupid.
I realized today that I forgot about Ben Francisco. I also forgot about Greg Dobbs. Whenever I think about the Phillies throughout the day, I usually just think of our pitching. What I think about is pretty typical, like “why did the Phillies sign Jose Contreras?” The Phillies pitching staff is starting to look like a retirement home.
From left to right: Contreras, Moyer... and uh... I guess I exagerrated a bit
Ben Francisco went 0-for-11 during the postseason. Who does that? Honestly? I must admit that I was very surprised the Phils got as far as they did. NO ONE could hit off the bench. Francisco flat-lined, and I frequently forgot that Dobbs still played for us. Stairs was a drunken waste of a bench spot. Hopefully Gload can help us out in that department, because we really need it. When it stopped being fun to say “Ben Frann-cisss-cooo,” I decided it was time to suggest that we throw batteries at him a la J.D. Drew.
My Super Sweet 2010 Season
BTW… how is Durbin making over 2 million dollars this year? I know I wrote about this already, but come ON. He sucked!
Chase announced that he’s going to be more willing to take breaks during the season than he has been in the past. If he can do this effectively (and by that, I mean doing it to the team’s and his advantage) then I will be happy with that. Chase has a distinct history of trying to play through/hide injuries and he’s clearly a huge part of our team.
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The Yankees signed Randy Winn today, who will likely spell the end of Johnny Damon’s time with the team. I think moves like these make baseball interesting from year to year. The lost Cabrera and Damon but gained Granderson and Winn. As far as offensive production, it’s a wait-and-see game this season for the Yanks. Granderson hasn’t played on teams that are as offensively gifted as the Yankees in the past, but he’s seen production similar to Damon’s over the course of his career. The difference is that he doesn’t bat in as many runs and he hasn’t been doing that for as long. The batting average is pretty inconsistent (last year it sucked), but he does have some power in his bat. I say he could top out around 82 RBIs, but I’d probably bet on less.
Offensively, I doubt they skip a beat by losing Damon. Sure – he had a good playoffs, but I don’t think he ever made/broke a team he was on. He’s always been a ‘pretty good’ player. However, I still hate that monkey-looking motherfucker about as much as I hate Pedro Feliz. I hope he signs with some shitty ass team in the AL so I don’t have to see him too much. If he and Pedro Feliz fucked, they’d make the most monkey-looking children ever created… and we all know Pedro would deliver it.
I found this on the net... it really captures how much of a bitch Pedro is
#1 by you suck cock at January 31st, 2010
You should just quit this site, you know nothing about baseball or the players. Johnny Damon has, by himself, won multiple CRUCIAL games in the playoffs for both Boston and New York.
You’re absolutely retarded and using “fuck” 10 times in a post doesn’t make you cool or tough. It just shows that you have 0 writing skills to match your 0 knowledge of the game of Baseball.
This site encompasses all that is Phillies fans: bandwagon, know-nothing, uneducated dopes.
P.S. I wish my team was so lucky to be in a division with no competition. Free rides to the playoffs sure are fun.
#2 by Little Jew at January 31st, 2010
so, you’re either a Yankees or Red Sox fan reading a Phillies blog during the offseason. yeah, you’re cool
#3 by Dickie Assburn at January 31st, 2010
Yes, he has historically been a good player.
However, my statement is true. He has never made or broke a team. He is a good player who has had great moments. That does not make him a ‘great’ player.
If he was, why isn’t ‘your team’ offering him what he demands? A multi-year deal for an 8-figure amount? Oh yeah, that’s right – he’s not a great player.
Go suck a pinstriped dick, and learn how to read.
#4 by you suck cock at January 31st, 2010
A candy cane pinstriped dick? The Phillies couldn’t get any gayer.
Go wave your towels, you fair-weather faggots.
Real fans don’t wave props like 11 year olds. You have a fucking mascot….
AHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Also, I’m not a Yankees fan. Try again, nigger.
#5 by Little Jew at January 31st, 2010
You should be laughing at Johnny Damon…did he really think he was actually going to make more than he did last year? Now that’s retarded…I guess that’s what you get for spending too much time in New York and Bawston
And judging by your last post I’m guessing you’re a Red Sox fan…congrats on finally winning a couple championships…too bad it took a bunch of steroid users to get them.
#6 by Dickie Assburn at January 31st, 2010
I like how he didn’t address anything I said about Damon. He just ignored that we told the truth about him and made some unfunny jokes… I clearly struck a nerve when I told it like it was on Johnny Damon and now all he can say is “nigger” and “faggot.” I really wish Google didn’t exist sometimes…
#7 by Bay Slugga at February 1st, 2010
As WTT would say, Parmesan!
#8 by Jurrjen4NLCY at February 6th, 2010
While I won’t comment on which major league baseball team has homosexual preferences and which teams just prefer to “stick it anywhere” and just close their eyes, I will comment on this idiocy:
“I wish my team was so lucky to be in a division with no competition. Free rides to the playoffs sure are fun.”
History Lesson Time! … and a math one too!
(Stay with me now…)
Over the past 3 years (2009 – 2007) the average winning percentage of the top 3rd finished teams in each division is as follows:
ALE – .573
NLE – .544
NLW – .537
ALW – .536
NLC – .531
ALC – .528
So I can see how placing second among the six divisions can influence you to draw the conclusion that a team in the second winning-est division in all of MLB gets a “free pass” to the division.
Oh, by the way, that was sarcasm.
… (Awaits response) … Argh! Hang on!
“Main Entry: sar·casm
Pronunciation: \?sär-?ka-z?m\
Function: noun
A mode of satirical wit depending for its effect on bitter, caustic, and often ironic language that is usually directed against an individual”
And if you think that using the word “Fuck” all the time isn’t cool, you clearly don’t hang around with 6 year olds much.
#9 by Jurrjen4NLCY at February 6th, 2010
Supposed to read:
“So I can see how placing second among the six divisions can influence you to draw the conclusion that a team in the second winning-est division in all of MLB gets a “free pass” to the playoffs.”
#10 by you suck cock at February 7th, 2010
I’m talking about this coming season and last year. Foolish boy.
Also, an almost 30 point difference between 1st and 2nd in winning percentage is a lot different than the 7 point, 1 point, 5 point, and 3 point differences between the rest of the divisions.
Also, you’re a moron. Go wave your handkerchiefs in the air during a baseball game, you dick loving, candy cane wearing cunts. You started watching your team in 07 when they were handed a playoff spot by the Mets.
Not a more pathetic fan base in all of sports than dirty, poor philly. You know nothing about baseball, girl. So just stop your pussy mouth from bleeding out nonsense.
#11 by Dickie Assburn at February 7th, 2010
Wait – why are you here? I don’t get it?
#12 by Jurrjen4NLCY at February 8th, 2010
Oh, this coming season? Why didn’t I know that? I made an ass out of myself for assuming you were talking about the past, I guess it was because when you phrased your statement, you used all past tense terms. I’m just wasting my mind reading powers away!
By the by,
The division is only getting better. And if it wasn’t for Omar Minaya’s dumbfounded “I have all the money in the world” mentality, then the NL East would be the toughest division in MLB. The only difference between Cashman, Epstein and Minaya and Amaro is that when Minaya and Amaro make a mistake, they have to live with it. Cash & Stein have unlimited pockets to fix it.
I’m pretty sure the 2007 September playoff chase was the EXACT OPPOSITE of being handed a playoff spot. Phillies had to keep wining to get in and they did.
By the by again,
I’m a Braves fan, and if you were as baseball intelligent as you put these fine genltemen down for not being, you would know that by my name.
#13 by Dickie Assburn at February 8th, 2010
This guy is a clown. He’s visited the site at least three times, and two of those times were after he told it to cease to exist. I can’t take someone who does that seriously… that makes no sense.