Archive for category Game Summaries
Werth Might Be Gone After This Year, But Who Cares!
Posted by Even Stevens in Game Summaries on March 7th, 2010
In what continues to be a month of posts comprised of ridiculous claims and premature conclusions, I wanted to drop in and say hello.
One of the major topics this off-season was the fact that Jayson Werth has ridiculously outplayed his current contract and will be able to make in the neighborhood of $15-18 million per season next year. It is very likely that the Phillies will be unable to keep him and Ryan Howard at the same time due to budgetary contraints, so Werth would be the odd-man out.
"I can strut however the fuck I want brah. I'm hitting .538, check the mohawk."
Domonic Brown, the Phillies’ hot-shot outfield prospect, plans on making you say “Who cares?” As Todd Zolecki reports on Twitter, the kid is hitting a scorching .538 through (7 for 13) with two doubles and four RBIs during his first four Grapefruit League games. That’s the type of shit that makes my prostate tingle.
Without getting too far ahead of ourselves, we’ve all got to admit that this is a good sign. At this point in the pre-season, the pitchers are often further ahead in their development than the hitters are. Players like Jayson Werth and Ryan Howard are mainly quiet at the plate thus far. Domonic Brown is trying to make a name for himself, and his plate appearances have done just that.
Whether or not the Phillies can afford Werth next year remains to be seen. What we have seen, however, is that there’s a five-tool stud waiting in the wings. It’ll be interesting to see how all of this plays out.
It Was One Hell of a Ride
Posted by WTT in Game Summaries, General Thoughts, Phillies Rants, Playoffs and World Series on November 5th, 2009
The Phillies flat and thorough 7-3 defeat last night was undoubtedly difficult to watch. Watching Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez fake spontaneous celebratory poses for their “candid” Sports Illustrated cover was excruciating. Just as it is still hard to accept the realization that the 2009 Phillies were short of the pace set by a team of clutch performers that were spawn out of an outrageous 192 million dollar payroll. Still, the Phillies shouldn’t cry poor (they aren’t exactly a budget bunch), nor should they hang there heads in disappointment far beyond the immediate future.
Let this be a lesson kids: You don't always get what you deserve.
We can sit here this morning and curse Pedro Martinez and Charlie Manuel’s faith in him. We can curse Ryan Howard’s incredibly disappointing six-game World Series effort. Hell, we could maybe even curse Shane Victorino’s inability to catch a line drive hit right at him. It would be hiding from the truth not to say that the Phillies spent much of this series coming up small in the biggest of spots, which is something that prior to the last week seemed unimaginable.
Still, if you look at what this team has done over the past two seasons, it’s hard for even this website to rant and rave and curse and yell “trade, cut, kill yourself” at various players. Over the past two years the Phillies have compiled 185 regular season wins, 20 postseason wins, 2 NL Championships, 1 World Series Championship, and took this city and its fans on one Hell of a joyride- one that was unbeknown to this city just 18 short months ago.
In the coming days, this fan base is going to take a beating by those 100 miles north. The truth is, there are some excellent Yankees fans out there that deserve a night like last night over and over again, but I doubt those are the ones that you are going to be hearing from. But as you are taking your beating, just keep this in mind…
I expect more of this next year.
I don’t want to wax poetic, but it’s hard not to add a little perspective to this thing. For me, personally, I’ll never forget celebratory beers being drank, and better yet, splashed around at championship celebrations in South Philly bars. And I won’t forget the hugs with strangers or jumping up and down in a group embrace with my best friends. I think that I speak for the majority of Philadelphia by saying that it’s been so much fucking fun, that while yeah, it hurts, I can’t be anything but proud of this team and thankful for what they’ve given me and everyone else over the last two years.
And, of course, while we must not take anything for granted, it doesn’t hurt to know that the Phillies are a few minor tweaks away from being right back here again. Here’s hoping. And here’s hoping it is New York.
The Most Crushing Loss of the Season
Posted by Even Stevens in Game Summaries, General Thoughts, Playoffs and World Series on November 2nd, 2009
Last night’s loss was devastating. It really, truly was. I’ve never felt the way I felt last night after a baseball game.
Last night’s game was one where the winner would (in all likelihood) go on to win the whole fuckin’ thing. Think about it: If Joe Blanton could have found a way to out-duel C.C. Sabathia and get the win, the series would be tied at 2 games apiece with the untouchable Cliff Lee pitching in Game 5. Cliff Lee is for the Phillies what C.C. Sabathia is for the Yankees – he is their ACE, their stopper, and the guy you expect to win the game – no questions asked.
If you told me before the game that the Phillies would win and the series would be tied, I’d have told you that we would be taking the World Series to New York with a 3-2 lead and two games to play. It was that simple. And if, god forbid, the Yankees won…well, it would be highly unlikely that the Phillies can claw back for three straight wins (two of which would be in New York).
Let me take you through my emotional range during last night’s game. My worst fears were realized when Joe Blanton was anything but sharp in the first inning and the Yankees were teeing off on him. It was 2-0 before I knew it, and it looked like we were in for a long night. Thankfully Joe Blanton settled down, but C.C. Sabathia was better. It looked as though the Phillies would really have to hit him hard to get back into the game once the Yankees had 4 runs.
I felt on-edge the whole game, like it was going to be one of those nights where we kept battling but never quite caught up or could get anything going. And then Chase Utley homered in the 7th inning. It was suddenly 4-3 and within reach. And then Joba Chamberlain came in during the 8th inning and started throwing smoke. It was once again unlikely that we were going to catch up. It was a sad moment of realization, but it only lasted a few seconds.
Pedro Feliz, with 2 outs and a 3-2 count, blasted a Joba Chamberlain fastball deep into the left-field seats. I had this mounting sense of anticipation before the pitch was even delivered. Joba’s throwing gas, and his slider is missing the plate. It’s a full count, and if he’s going to get beat, he’s going to get beat on his best pitch. In a 3-2 count, Feliz had to be sitting fastball. If Pedro could just get a fastball in the zone…
BOOM! Holy Shit. They’re going to win this game, I thought. Brad Lidge is going to keep the game locked at 4 and then somebody is going to hit a walk-off in the bottom of the 9th. All of a sudden, the Phillies went from being down 3-1 in the series to being tied 2-2 with Cliff Lee pitching tomorrow. They’re going to win the fucking World Series!
Brad Lidge was sharp in the 9th inning. He got the first two outs really easily, and then had Johnny Damon with 2 strikes in the count. He threw him a slider in the dirt that Damon just barely caught a piece of. When I was watching it live, I thought he struck out. Only after a big yell did I realize Damon was still alive. And then, shit.
Single to left. Stolen base (of course). Oh, nobody’s covering third base because of the shift on Texieira? Nice. This monkey-looking son of a bitch went from being struck out to standing on third base with a shit-eating grin.
At that moment, the game was over. One big mental mistake, once again, cost them.
I am ashamed of Cole Hamels.
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Free Agency, Game Summaries, Phillies Rants, Playoffs and World Series on November 1st, 2009
What the FUCK is wrong with you?
2008 Cole Hamels showed up for a brief moment. Remember the guy who didn’t give a shit about what the other team did? Remember the guy that didn’t have any endorsement deals, and showed poise on the mound? Remember the guy that was touted as one of the most mature and talented young pitchers in the game today? Remember the guy…
that wouldn’t have fucking SUCKED on a night like last night?
What is his problem? He’s turned into a little sissy bratty bitch. When something doesn’t go his way, he throws temper tantrums visibly on the mound, and completely gives up. Charlie says he would never question his “mental toughness.” Well guess what, Charlie: if you’re too little of a man to do it, I will. Cole, you’ve let everything go to your head, and you expect everything to be easy. You think you are God’s gift to the earth, and that’s partly because we all led you to believe you were after you led us down Broad Street last year… but you are now representing everything that Philadelphia sports should NEVER be.
Oh, and aside from being completely full of yourself, it also turns out that you are a complete dumbass:
“There won’t be any Game 7 if we lose Game 3,” Hamels had said Friday. Quickly doing the math, he laughed. “Well, there could be … sorry,” he said. “I already sunk our ship. No, you have to focus one game at a time, and so that’s kind of — Game 3 is —- where I’m at.”
You are a high-maintenance pussy who pees himself and blames everyone else for his poor bladder control. You SUCK now. Period.
Ryan Howard and Chase Utley have completely lost their confidence. J-Roll talks a big game, but I see a complacent man out on that field. Victorino swung at the shittiest pitches known to man last night, and just looks on with this stupid, blank look on his face anymore.
What happened to the team that made us proud? What happened to the team that had CONFIDENCE and COMPOSURE? The only two C’s we’ll be seeing tonight will be in the form of C.C. Sabathia, who gets the luxury of pitching against Joe Blanton. Who knew it would be more important to make sure Cliff Lee doesn’t hurt himself (a guy we’ll likely only have for one more season) than it would be to try and prevent us from going down 3-1 (which could very well happen unless the Phils light the Yankees up for 8-9 runs tonight.)
Sure, that video camera being there was ridiculous. It should never interfere with gameplay. I’d rather them outrule us ever seeing that angle than have it turn a ball that quite possibly might not have been a home run into a 2-run shot. The point? It was there, it WAS a 2-run homerun, and it opened up the floodgates to even bigger problems.
Jayson Werth and Carlos Ruiz: I feel bad for you guys. Your teammates don’t want to help you win games anymore. Try to keep your heads up.
We got our asses handed to us last night. Kudos to the Yankees for clubbing around Cole’s high school level curveball for base hits and home runs. We need a big turn around tonight, or we’ll be sulking in the shit of what could’ve been for a long, long time.
We needed the split… we got the split.
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Game Summaries on October 30th, 2009
What? I'm busy today - fuck off....
Concrete Jungle Where Dreams Are Madeee… Up.
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Enemies, Game Summaries, Playoffs and World Series on October 29th, 2009
You know you're a douchebag when you still airbrush shit and think it's cool... Airbrushing died with Aaliyah and her ghetto ass 'RIP mami' tshirts everyone got made up... Get with the times.
Bay Slugga is tired.
And by tired, I mean wacking off all over his toilet seat.
So I, Dickie Assburn, will be doing the postgame commentary.
AND may I start by saying… FUCK YES!!!
Want to see how easy it is? I’d show you, but I know a guy who is probably a lot better suited at doing the job…
———————————–
"I'd try... if someone made me."
What went down: Step one in proving the ‘experts’ wrong went pretty GOD DAMN WELL. Cliff Lee dominated the New York Yankees like they were the Washington Gnats. It didn’t look challenging for a second – seriously. He was not fazed by anything the “Bronx Bombers” threw at him… which was mostly nothing. Chase Utley kicked fucking ass, launching two long balls into the soon-to-be-empty seats at the brand spanking new Yankee Stadium. The big hitters for the Yankees didn’t do SHIT, and A-Rod looked a lot like that little bitch we saw for… well… mostly his entire career. You struck out three times, and I’m pretty sure that means you’ll be sucking Kate’s dick tonight. Furthermore, New York yuppies who attended the game (which had far too many empty seats at every point during the game) started to leave in great volume around the 7th inning. You would think that wouldn’t be the case, considering how ‘fuuhhhckinnn proud they are’ of their team, and considering that it’s only game one. But hey, I guess I just don’t understand. I guess they stopped selling Heineken at that point? Well, at least the miniscule amount of real fans you guys have had no problem getting out of the parking lot, right?
What I liked: Chase and Cliff don’t fit in here. To say that I liked them would be a smack in the face to those guys. I’m going to talk about Jimmy Rollins’ GENIUS fucking play that got both Cano and Matsui (a jackass) out. Seriously, that’s one of the only times I’ve seen a black man out-duel a China-man during a battle of the minds. It’s only a matter of time before Jimmy hits one out of the park, by the way. I’d say he’s due. He hit two really hard ones tonight that were almost fair. He also ran the bases really well, and kept some of their crappy relievers off balance with his tomfoolery in the area. Great game, J-Roll.
Werth showed some great plate discipline that I was really wanting to see from him in earning two walks tonight. Ryan, although you struck out twice, you still walked away with a RBI, and batted .400. Batting .400 is fantastic for anyone during these playoffs, but for you now a days, it’s pretty “meh…” That is how much you kick ass. You are on a hot streak. Slay the Yankees and beat Kate Hudson with your black dick all the way down Broad Street, big guy.
What pissed me off: Ruben Amaro Jr.’s big kosher pickle Jew erect dick kept poking me in the eye during the seventh inning stretch. He lost his boner after he heard that crazy bitch’s voice that was singing, but got it back up when he realized that CLIFF LEE, his gem of an acquisition, was still shitting all over the YANKS… yeah da YANKS brah!!! (end shitty New York lingo)… deep into the 8th inning.
Raul, I’m sorry, I know you had 2 RBIs, but you left wayyyy too many runners on base. I know you’re playing hurt, but you really need to step it up. We love you, but you better start raging out into Pharaoh’s Fury more often when you have the luxury of 80 zillion runners on base everytime you get up to bat.
Pedro Feliz – you are fucking pathetic. I wish more people knew how to effectively play 3rd base… because you make too much to hit too little. Your defense is still good, but you can’t hit worth shit. I’m sorry, but if the clinching game comes around, and we clearly have it won, and you suddenly suffer a career ending injury… I might giggle.
Jimmy – you’re not completely off the hook. Replicate a ‘Chase Utley throw into no man’s land’ again and I will piss on you.
Now what: Game 2 a.k.a. when most YANKS FANZ will stop watching. “Wait bra is this a YANKS game or a HOV concert broski? I dno but either way let’s leave around ten, the club awaits and my hair ain’t gonna impress itself tonight.”
You will all come to see him... and then, you will leave.