Archive for category Ballplayer Lifestyle
Ky-Guy is kicking that ass!
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Ballplayer Lifestyle, Spring Training on March 8th, 2010
If you’ve visited 4DaysRest with any rate of frequency over the past couple of weeks, you may have noticed the alarming tone conveyed in posts. I am no stranger to such behavior, as I succumbed to flipping the fuck out on Greg Dobbs about a week ago over a comment he made during… Spring Training!
This is a time to be happy! Fuck yeah, d00d! So, with that said, enough of this shit:
… because:
a) Recording shit that happens on your TV via your VHS player and later uploading it to YouTube is white trash.
b) If you own a Hibachi TV, you are white trash.
c) It’s fucking SPRING TRAINING — the time where Phillies fans get to bask in the glory of things like:
- The battle over who wins the #5 starter job, who settles for the middle relief job and who takes the #5 starter spot a month and a half into the season after the guy that originally won it gets a bad case of elbow tendonitis
- Overrating our own prospects because they hit homeruns off of the other team’s 30-year-old, stuck-forever-in-Triple-A starting pitcher (I’m being a jackass, but it was cool pretending at one point last year that Jason Donald was going to be ‘the man’ some day)
- Watching Domonic Brown pwn bitches like it ain’t no thang
I want to talk about something positive for a moment: Kyle Kendrick is kicking ass so far. I know it’s early, but I’ve heard that he’s worked on some new pitches, he’s built some confidence, and according to Chooch, he’s like a totally new pitcher out there. We have a very, very solid top-4 in our rotation, but I think if Kendrick can put it all together (or at least most of it), it would be awesome. So far, he’s pitched five scoreless innings on two outings. It’s early, as I said, but it’s promising.
Like I said: confident.... wait, wrong picture LOL
Dobbs: when I play like shit, play me more
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Ballplayer Lifestyle, Miscellaneous Rants on March 3rd, 2010
Before I pretend that anything Greg Dobbs says matters: why does this show up when you google 'greg dobbs'? hahaha
No – there are no typos in the subject. What I wrote is what I meant. After doing a lot of less important shit, like mailing out my resume to a bunch of places hoping to get an internship for this summer, I looked up the Phillies news for the day… only to see Greg Dobbs bitching about his playing time. What’s worse is that the guy reporting on it, Matt Gelb, didn’t call his bluff and state in his article that Greg Dobbs has lost his fucking mind. Here are the excerpts of Gelb’s articles that just did not make ANY sense to me…
The hardest part, he said, was accepting the diminished role. With Ryan Howard and Pedro Feliz entrenched in their starting spots, plus little playing time to be had in the corner outfield positions, there just wasn’t room for Dobbs – and he couldn’t duplicate his success.
Ideally, Dobbs said, he needs at least 200 at-bats to avoid a season like 2009.
See — that right there is exactly why I would never want to be a real sports journalist. It would mean I’d have to put up with hearing ludicrous shit like that coming out of the mouth of the resident pinch hitter.
What is a pinch hitter, anyway? Oh yeah — it’s a guy that sits on his ass pretty much everyday and then gets off of it to swing a fucking bat in the 7th inning when the pitcher starts sucking too bad/gets tired. People say DHs are lazy as shit, but pinch hitters? Wow — that’s a-whole-nother level of ‘not moving.’
Just in case you wanted to see a direct quote, here it is, straight from the ass’ soul-patch:
“It’s tough to put up good numbers if you’re not getting at-bats,” said Dobbs, 31. “It just is. And not that it’s an excuse. It’s just the way it is.”
"I think I'm going to strike out here... Only because I don't see why Ryan Howard gets to bat most of the time instead of me."
Yeah — that’s not an excuse at all… except that it is. You’re clearly here to do nothing but pinch hit, and you fucking sucked at it. In fact, as the article states, he “hit .167 as a pinch-hitter,” and his at-bats “went from 226 to 154.” What am I missing here? He committed an epic fail at trying to reach the Mendoza line as a pinch hitter, and still managed to amass 154 at-bats because our only options were an old man with a beer belly and a little fuzzy guy that defined the word “irony” when he somehow: a) sucked, and b) made a triple-play. Now he wants more at-bats when we finally figured out that we need some resemblance of a bench to succeed?! Get the fuck out of here…
Anymore nonsense like this, and Dobbs will be back to hanging out with losers again
Oh, and I’m filing this under “Miscellaneous Rants” because Greg Dobbs is irrelevant… He does not deserve “Phillies Rant” status, unless he takes this utter and complete bullshit of an attitude onto the baseball field. Boo-ya, bitch! Take that!
The Curious Case of Chan Ho Park.
Posted by WTT in Ballplayer Lifestyle, Breaking News, Enemies, Free Agency, Phillies Rants on February 28th, 2010
The long and puzzling odyssey of Chan Ho Park’s stay in free agency ended last week when he signed with the New York Yankees. Here’s my take on this surprising development:
See, usually this would piss me off. I wanted to react with the old, “Oh, you’re too fucking good for our team? Had to take more money from the fucking YANKEES? Asshole.” But then, as I watched “1.2 million dollars” scroll across the screen I simply said, “What the fuck?”
I'm not sure if greed is a deadly sin, but if you have really stupid financial advisors and agents, then it definitely is.
For the last few months, I’ve been wondering why the Hell Chan Ho Park wasn’t a part of the Phillies’ 2010 plans. Charlie Manuel spoke about durability issues, which was uncharacteristic for the usually protective manager. Still, Park was excellent after being moved from the rotation and seemed like a logical fit for a team needing help in solidifying its bullpen. So, let’s take a look at exactly how this played out.
1. Phillies offer $3 million dollars.
2. Chan Ho Park’s people say ” no thanks.”
3. Ruben Amaro says “fuck you.”
4. Chan Ho Park’s people wait for a better offer.
5. That offer never comes.
6. Park signs with Yankees for just over $1 million.
The only thing we don’t know at this point is whether or not Park’s people called Ruben Amaro back sometime in January with contrition, offering massages, manicures, and free “happy-ending” coupons in return for that initial offer.
A special 4DR Welcome to Jose Contreras and Friends!
We do know, however, that the Phillies had moved on by the time Park had lowered his demands and now the Phillies can only hope that the additions of Dennys Baez and Jose Contreras will fill the hole left by the departure of Chan Ho Park.
And we also know that Chan Ho Park’s people fucked this one up.
Two Photographs, Pink Eye, and a Definitive Conclusion
Posted by WTT in Ballplayer Lifestyle, Enemies, General Thoughts on February 26th, 2010
While the love fest with the Phillies continues, the Mets continue to…well, be the Mets. While we stew over stories about Roy Halladay, Jimmy Rollins’ pursuit of 50+ plus steals, righteous beards, and getting back to the World Series for a third straight year, the Mets are churning out hot stories like ”Barajas making most of his opportunity” and “Francisco Rodriguez has pink eye”. It just seems to me like these two teams are headed in two totally opposite directions right from the jump. This is what you see coming from Clearwater:
Two things: 1.Those Kung-Fu moves kick ass.
2. It seems to me like your team is bound to fucking suck when images like this one are coming out of your camp.
Somebody Farted on K-Rod's Pillow.
Rollins and Werth are BFF
Posted by Bay Slugga in Ballplayer Lifestyle, Media and Press on February 23rd, 2010
Props to Scott Lauber for posting a text message exchange between Rollins and Werth the day the Phillies traded for Roy Halladay. The original chain of messages went something like this:
Werth: “What’s going on?”
Rollins: “What happened? Roy? Dang, we didn’t get him? He went somewhere else?”
Werth: “No, we got him. We traded away Cliff.”
Rollins: “So, you mean we only get to keep one?”
Werth: “Yeah.”
What Scott neglected to mention were the messages that were sent next:
Rollins: “Damn, son. Wanna smoke a blunt?”
Werth: “Nah bro. I’m too stoned to drive and I’m watching I Love Lucy.”
Rollins: “True dat. Imma come chill with you. I’ll bring Notorious on Blu Ray.”
Roy Rules!
Posted by Bay Slugga in Ballplayer Lifestyle, Media and Press on February 23rd, 2010
I had a chance to catch up with Kyle Kendrick a few days ago, and he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about Roy Halladay. I wish I had a transcript of the conversation – it was really pathetic.
“OMG, Bay Slugga, Roy has really strong legs. No wonder he pitches 240 innings a year.”
“Roy is a really special guy…I mean pitcher. I want to be just like him!”
“Roy made this joke in the bullpen yesterday, and I laughed so hard I forgot my opponents hit .600 off me.”
After a while I started to get really tired of all the Halladay slurping, and I told Kyle to STFU and show me naked pictures of his hot girlfriend – that was much more enjoyable.
Sure enough, after a few minutes passed, Kyle started ranting about Halladay again. I tried to tune it out after he started talking about Halladay dressing up as a pirate and eating bananas – that made me feel really weird. I felt bad for the poor guy, so I decided to help Kyle by filming this documentary/music video for him.
ROY RULES!
Excuse the the content in this video that obviously doesn’t make sense/doesn’t apply to the situation between Kyle and Roy. Kyle may have been high during the filming of this video, which may explain why he demanded I put an “SNL” label in the beginning.