Posts Tagged ben francisco
Lest We Forget
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Enemies, Free Agency, General Thoughts, Playoffs and World Series on January 27th, 2010
Off-season baseball writing sucks dick. No one gives enough of a fuck to read any of it, the writers resort to talking about hypothetical signings and trades, and everyone essentially shits themselves trying to keep their job in a mostly dead market.
Well, I don’t get paid, I don’t give a fuck about ‘good journalism’, and I think hypothetical trades are stupid.
I realized today that I forgot about Ben Francisco. I also forgot about Greg Dobbs. Whenever I think about the Phillies throughout the day, I usually just think of our pitching. What I think about is pretty typical, like “why did the Phillies sign Jose Contreras?” The Phillies pitching staff is starting to look like a retirement home.
From left to right: Contreras, Moyer... and uh... I guess I exagerrated a bit
Ben Francisco went 0-for-11 during the postseason. Who does that? Honestly? I must admit that I was very surprised the Phils got as far as they did. NO ONE could hit off the bench. Francisco flat-lined, and I frequently forgot that Dobbs still played for us. Stairs was a drunken waste of a bench spot. Hopefully Gload can help us out in that department, because we really need it. When it stopped being fun to say “Ben Frann-cisss-cooo,” I decided it was time to suggest that we throw batteries at him a la J.D. Drew.
My Super Sweet 2010 Season
BTW… how is Durbin making over 2 million dollars this year? I know I wrote about this already, but come ON. He sucked!
Chase announced that he’s going to be more willing to take breaks during the season than he has been in the past. If he can do this effectively (and by that, I mean doing it to the team’s and his advantage) then I will be happy with that. Chase has a distinct history of trying to play through/hide injuries and he’s clearly a huge part of our team.
————————–
The Yankees signed Randy Winn today, who will likely spell the end of Johnny Damon’s time with the team. I think moves like these make baseball interesting from year to year. The lost Cabrera and Damon but gained Granderson and Winn. As far as offensive production, it’s a wait-and-see game this season for the Yanks. Granderson hasn’t played on teams that are as offensively gifted as the Yankees in the past, but he’s seen production similar to Damon’s over the course of his career. The difference is that he doesn’t bat in as many runs and he hasn’t been doing that for as long. The batting average is pretty inconsistent (last year it sucked), but he does have some power in his bat. I say he could top out around 82 RBIs, but I’d probably bet on less.
Offensively, I doubt they skip a beat by losing Damon. Sure – he had a good playoffs, but I don’t think he ever made/broke a team he was on. He’s always been a ‘pretty good’ player. However, I still hate that monkey-looking motherfucker about as much as I hate Pedro Feliz. I hope he signs with some shitty ass team in the AL so I don’t have to see him too much. If he and Pedro Feliz fucked, they’d make the most monkey-looking children ever created… and we all know Pedro would deliver it.
I found this on the net... it really captures how much of a bitch Pedro is
Who’s Your Daddy?
Posted by Bay Slugga in Game Previews, General Thoughts, Playoffs and World Series on November 3rd, 2009
The matchup is set – Pedro Martinez versus a short-rested Andy Pettitte.
I like Pedro Martienz in this game because he is capable of giving the giving the Phillies a legitimate shot at winning Game 6. We aren’t talking about Jamie Moyer or Brett Myers here – Pedro is capable of controlling his emotions in front of “vicious” Yankee fans, and the guy flat out knows how to pitch.
Pedro pitched fairly well in game two of the World Series, but met his match in a dominate Burnett. The fans were basically a non-factor for Pedro, and with the price of tickets at Yankee Stadium escalating, I expect them to be quiet again.
Andy Pettitte is formidable pitcher, and the guy is on steroids great in big games – count on him being mentally ready to go toe to toe with Pedro. Lets face the facts though, shall we?
Pettitte isn’t 25 years old anymore, and there is a reason baseball teams like to give pitchers 4-5 days rest between starts. Sabathia has shown that he is capable of pitching every third day, but can Pettitte give the Yankees a quality start on short rest this late in the season? I don’t know the exact stat, but Joe Buck said that players who pitch on short rest against a player on full rest are 12-35. This isn’t Steve Carlton or Tom Seaver here people – Advantage Phillies.
Joe Girardi has been criticized for letting Burnett pitch on short rest last night, and I just don’t see how a tired Andy Pettitte can be successful tomorrow. Really, it is all about the rest.
The keys to game six are simple. The right handed hitters need to make Pettitte work, and this time around we will have Ben Fran in the order. Ryan Howard needs to give us some professional at-bats out of the cleanup spot – try and hit the ball to left, Bro.
Use this space to give your two cents about Pedro and Game Six.
The Big Picture: Gillick’s Successor
Posted by Even Stevens in Free Agency, General Thoughts, Phillies Rants, Playoffs and World Series, Trades on October 20th, 2009
It’s playoff time, and it’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of each game – hell, each pitch. The more the season progresses and the Phillies turn up their intensity, one thing stands out to me: Ruben Amaro, Jr. When he was announced as the guy who would succeed Pat Gillick, some in Philadelphia (including myself) thought the Phillies took the easy way out and gave the promotion to a yes-man from within. As it turns out, Amaro has not only held his own but is making a very strong case for the best Jew Executive of the Year.
"Man, I am so money right now. I still can't believe how much I owned Ricciardi. What a doucher."
Think about it: Do you know how fucking hard it is to get to this same position two years in a row? Don’t give me the “He had basically the same team from last year” bullshit, because he didn’t. Let’s take a look at some of the biggest pieces from a year ago see where they tie into this year’s success:
Cole Hamels was a pussy this year and has not showed up at all this Postseason. Pat Burrell is gone. Brad Lidge had an abysmal year. J.C. Romero was a non-factor and pitched in less games than Tyler Walker. Greg Dobbs was more annoying to watch at the plate than that hyper weeble David Eckstein.
The reasons go on and on. There were large holes to fill, and the Phillies certainly would not have gotten to this position without making some large moves. In some cases, the non-moves were just as important. Let’s observe:
The Phillies signed Raul Ibanez, who had a ridiculously productive year and was a slight upgrade defensively from Pat Burrell. Burrell had a .221 batting average and hit 14 homers for the Rays. Though Ibanez really fell off in the second half of the season, he still completely owned Burrell in every single category.
When Brett Myers went down, the entire world was pressuring Ruben Amaro, Jr. to go out and get Roy Halladay, no exceptions. Amaro stuck his (likely) uncircumcised cock in Blue Jays GM J.P. Ricchardi’s ass and said no thanks. Instead, he absolutely stole Cliff Lee from the Indians for a handful of good prospects. Did I mention he was able to keep Kyle Drabek and J.A. Happ, who the Blue Jays were demanding in order to bring Halladay to the Phils?
"Hit this - you won't! Bitch."
All season long, there was a large void on the Phillies bench. While Amaro had Matt Stairs and Greg Dobbs to pinch-hit late in games from the left side, there was only a talentless bearded man available from the right side. Amaro killed two birds with one stone on the Cliff Lee deal and brought Ben Francisco to the club as well, who has been able to provide some pop from the right side and spell Ibanez in left field for a defensive upgrade.
When Jamie Moyer continued shitting his pants at a rate by which his Depends could no longer hold the mess together, Amaro essentially put the old dog to sleep. He brought back a less-old dog from the dead in Pedro Martinez and gave the 37-year old Dominican a chance that several other clubs were not willing to. Martinez rewarded Ruben Amaro, Jr. for his gamble and posted a 5-1 record with an ERA in the mid-3’s.
How many other General Managers in the league can you name that have made such bold, impactful moves that have helped their team win? In a league that is all about consistency, the Phillies have been a model of maintaining their consistency through the use of different personnel over the last several years. The winning years started with Pat Gillick, but Ruben Amaro, Jr. has effectively taken the reigns of the newest powerhouse and potential dynasty in sports.
Many would say that Amaro deserves it already, but nearly all would agree that another World Series Championship would put the icing on the cake for the Executive of the Year Award.
So let’s beat those fuckin’ Yankees.
Bench to decide series? Load of CRAP.
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Enemies, General Thoughts, Media and Press, Playoffs and World Series on October 15th, 2009
A certain number of baseball analysts seem to think that the benches are going to decide the NLCS this year. I say that’s a load of complete crap.
I’m not sure when people stopped paying attention to Jim Thome, but I’m guessing it was years ago. The guy still has some pop in his bat, but he can’t make contact worth shit. This year, his batting average blew and what did having this piece of man junk do for the Dodgers last round? He gave them 2 at-bats, with no hits and a strikeout.
Orlando Hudson? 3 games, no at-bats.
Mark Loretta has had one at-bat and one RBI, which makes him the most productive Dodger… who has seen the plate once. Big fucking deal.
Juan Pierre? A big FUCKING donut. 0-for-3 last series.
The Dodgers’ bench is packed with big names — I get that. But who cares? They haven’t produced in the playoffs like the media leads you to believe.
I’m not saying the Phillies’ bench has played better, because they obviously haven’t. Greg Dobbs has continued his miserable looking season with 3 outs in 3 at bats during the playoffs, Matt Stairs hasn’t knocked any out yet, and Francisco (while he did make the most epic catch of the playoffs) hasn’t hit the ball yet either.
All I’m saying is this: the analysts need to get off their knees so the Dodgers’ bench can pull their pants up. The game is on tonight, and if they keep sucking on them this hard, they DEFINITELY won’t be able to show us anything.
Although I’m sure Jim Thome has no problem with that……
Blanton Completes the Sweep Behind Scorching Offense
Posted by Bay Slugga in Game Summaries on August 21st, 2009
What went down: The Phillies completed the sweep of the Arizona Diamondbacks to move to 20 games over .500 (69-49). The offense was in cruise control last tonight, with Werth and Howard having big games, while the rest of the bats held their own. This series wasn’t even competitive from the Diamondbacks perspective, as they basically laid down for the Phillies.
Is that vintage Ken Griffey Jr.?
Who and what pissed me off: Pedro Feliz. I wouldn’t really say that you pissed me off last tonight, but it is obvious you could use a breather. Dobbs has been a ghost for this club recently, and I’d like to see him get the start against Pelfrey in New York.
Eric Bruntlett. I didn’t watch your AB because I was out getting drunk at that point, but seeing your name in the box score bothers me. You should be embarrassed that half the pitchers on the team have a higher OPS than you. Jesus Christ.
Mitch Williams. Anybody watch the game on the MLB Network last night? I realize Mitch covered this team for a few years, but you would think everyone on the roster was an MVP candidate. Wild Thing was blowing every player so hard I was getting sick to my stomach. Yuck.
What I liked: Joe Blanton. Armed with your pitches and your farts, you hung in there tonight and turned in a very good outing. I’ll go as far as to say that you didn’t have your best stuff tonight, but you still got it done. It sure is nice that our starters have been turning in 6+ inning starts with ease lately.
Pull my finger
Ryan Howard. You’re doing it again, man. Every year around August, things just seem to click for you. All of a sudden you have the sweetest swing in baseball, and if a pitcher throws you a strike, they are going to pay. Fans will quickly forget your June/July woes when you put the team on your back like this. Bravo, dawg.
Jayson Werth. You hit your 28th home run last night, and just like Howard you are scorching hot right now. I like your style, and you’re quickly becoming one of my favorite players. Not only are you mashing the cover off the ball, but it is obvious you deserved your All Star appearance this year.
Ben Francisco. This is the diamond in the rough part of the Cliff Lee trade. Not only is Francisco under control for a few more years, but he is a solid 4th outfielder who has so far proven he can come off the bench and give the Phillies’ quality ABs.
Can somebody please explain to me: Why our bullpen hasn’t pitched in a month? Oh, right, our starters have been fucking nasty. That’s it, I forgot. Condrey and Romero have been on the DL for a decent amount of time now (much more than 15 days), and we haven’t really missed them. I might actually have trouble telling you who our options are out there right now, because most of them haven’t seen any time in the last two weeks.
Now what: The Phillies will head to Bailout Field this weekend to take on the Mets for a four-game series. Golden boy Cole Hamels (currently our 4th best starter) will take on some loser tonight for the first game. If Cole Hamels can give us a quality start tonight, I’ll be happy. I’m tired of bitching about how Cole has to regain his 2008 form, and go out there and dominate. Stop bitching about getting squeezed and bloop hits — pitch the fucking ball like you know how to.
De La Rosa, You’re My Bitch
Posted by Bay Slugga in Game Summaries on August 5th, 2009
Jimmy Rollins texted me after my post this afternoon and said he’d win it for me tonight. Thanks man <3.
What went down: The Phillies snapped their losing streak tonight, while pounding Jorge De La Rosa for three homeruns and seven earned runs. J.A. Happ pitched brilliantly to earn his 8th win of the season behind a complete game shutout. Tonight was classic Phillies 2009 baseball – homeruns, sound defense, and a dirty Happ. It was really nice to see our hitters work some counts after a few consecutive games of batting like they were about to shit their pants. All around a great bounce-back win.
Who and what pissed me off: Tmac. So obviously we always rag on McCarthy here, but he was down right awful tonight. His opening montage narration was awful, and he regularly fucks up calls from inning to inning. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I would prefer nine innings of Wheels and Sarge. No doubt.
Notice his huge balls bursting out of his pants
What I liked: Happ. You are the fucking man bro. If I ever see you out, I’ll definitely buy you a beer, or maybe some coke if thats what you are in to. Not only did you fucking dominate, but you also sent a message to Amaro about the possibility of you going back to the pen (more on that tomorrow). You have some big balls and you show it on the mound despite trade rumors and such. Your line speaks for itself, and you are well on your way to ROY – Oh yea, nice double in the 8th.
Pedro Feliz. You worked a great AB tonight when you hit your homerun, and then you stroked a nice single to right later on. I love it when you don’t swing like you’re swatting flys, and you had some nice swings tonight.
Chooch. You are in the same boat as Feliz, and you had a nice night at the plate. Keep it going.
Ryan Howard. You have been awful the last few days, and you put some good swings on the ball tonight. Your RBI single in the first almost gave me a semi.
Can someone please explain to me: Why Happ would be replaced by Pedro? This fucking kid has been our best pitcher this year, and if he is sent to the pen someone needs to be crucified. Fuck Moyer’s tenure, and fuck Pedro’s legacy. Happ has been lights out and he has earned his spot.
Why Charlie put Utley, Howard, and Ibanez together against a lefty? I know we won the game tonight, but going into the game this seemed like a bonehead move to me. Tonight would of been a great night to give Ibanez a breather and start Fransico.
Now what: The Phillies will go for the series win tomorrow when Cliff Lee goes against Aaron Cook. If it wasn’t electric enough tonight at CBP, tomorrow it should be rockin when Lee throws his first pitch.
Tidbits: Pedro Martinez had a solid outing tonight in his rehab assignment, pitching six innings of four run ball (only three of which were earned) while striking out eleven. Interesting…
Text from WTT: “Congrats to Cole Hamels for being our fourth best pitcher.”