Posts Tagged chad durbin
Lest We Forget
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Enemies, Free Agency, General Thoughts, Playoffs and World Series on January 27th, 2010
Off-season baseball writing sucks dick. No one gives enough of a fuck to read any of it, the writers resort to talking about hypothetical signings and trades, and everyone essentially shits themselves trying to keep their job in a mostly dead market.
Well, I don’t get paid, I don’t give a fuck about ‘good journalism’, and I think hypothetical trades are stupid.
I realized today that I forgot about Ben Francisco. I also forgot about Greg Dobbs. Whenever I think about the Phillies throughout the day, I usually just think of our pitching. What I think about is pretty typical, like “why did the Phillies sign Jose Contreras?” The Phillies pitching staff is starting to look like a retirement home.
From left to right: Contreras, Moyer... and uh... I guess I exagerrated a bit
Ben Francisco went 0-for-11 during the postseason. Who does that? Honestly? I must admit that I was very surprised the Phils got as far as they did. NO ONE could hit off the bench. Francisco flat-lined, and I frequently forgot that Dobbs still played for us. Stairs was a drunken waste of a bench spot. Hopefully Gload can help us out in that department, because we really need it. When it stopped being fun to say “Ben Frann-cisss-cooo,” I decided it was time to suggest that we throw batteries at him a la J.D. Drew.
My Super Sweet 2010 Season
BTW… how is Durbin making over 2 million dollars this year? I know I wrote about this already, but come ON. He sucked!
Chase announced that he’s going to be more willing to take breaks during the season than he has been in the past. If he can do this effectively (and by that, I mean doing it to the team’s and his advantage) then I will be happy with that. Chase has a distinct history of trying to play through/hide injuries and he’s clearly a huge part of our team.
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The Yankees signed Randy Winn today, who will likely spell the end of Johnny Damon’s time with the team. I think moves like these make baseball interesting from year to year. The lost Cabrera and Damon but gained Granderson and Winn. As far as offensive production, it’s a wait-and-see game this season for the Yanks. Granderson hasn’t played on teams that are as offensively gifted as the Yankees in the past, but he’s seen production similar to Damon’s over the course of his career. The difference is that he doesn’t bat in as many runs and he hasn’t been doing that for as long. The batting average is pretty inconsistent (last year it sucked), but he does have some power in his bat. I say he could top out around 82 RBIs, but I’d probably bet on less.
Offensively, I doubt they skip a beat by losing Damon. Sure – he had a good playoffs, but I don’t think he ever made/broke a team he was on. He’s always been a ‘pretty good’ player. However, I still hate that monkey-looking motherfucker about as much as I hate Pedro Feliz. I hope he signs with some shitty ass team in the AL so I don’t have to see him too much. If he and Pedro Feliz fucked, they’d make the most monkey-looking children ever created… and we all know Pedro would deliver it.
I found this on the net... it really captures how much of a bitch Pedro is
Blogger Bitch Fight
Posted by Dickie Assburn in General Thoughts, Mic'd Up, Phillies Rants, injuries on January 18th, 2010
Sorry if you're one of the women fighting in this picture... I would've asked for permission, but we all know you're both too trashy to have any idea what copyright infringement is anyway.
I always like to pretend I’m writing about something timely (and by ‘always’ I mean my last two entries), and ‘bitch fights’ are actually very timely. Over at NBC, Conando and Jay ‘Wake up-shitty monologue-star guests-Kevin Eubanks-shitty band-go to bed’ Leno are involved in a bitch fight over who gets to speak directly after the local news. Conan shits all over Jay’s life – this is something we all know and love. However, how many people actually watch these two? Everyone loves to say ‘I Love Conan!!!!!!’ but how many people actually watch him every night? The same can be said for Jay Leno. No one really watches them. They just want to take sides and talk shit whenever they can… and such is the human condition.
Notice: Conan = Matt Damon creeping around town in The Departed aka bad ass. Leno = Mehhh can you tell I just got raped or nahhh mehhh???
So how about I instigate a public uproar over something people actually do consistently care about, like baseball blog sites? (lolol)
If you follow the Phils during the off-season (a period in time I cannot stand) then you’ve realized that the arbitration hearings are going to be underway soon. Victorino, Chooch, and Joe Fuckin Blanton are all guys that are due to receive raises, and to (at least) some degree, I’d say they’ve all earned them.
Enter Chad Durbin, the guy made about 1.635 million last year and had an ERA on the really wrong side of 4.
Here is something I read that was published on ‘THE PHILLIES FILES’:
Durbin, 32,earned $1.635 million in 2009. Although his numbers are a little down from 2008 (he had a 4.39 ERA in 59 games in 2009 compared to the 2.87 ERA he posted in 71 games in 2008), he’s still due for a raise. This isn’t someone the Phillies should neglect. He’s more valuable than many realize, especially considering he’s one of the few returning to a much-broken up bullpen.
You mean to tell me there isn’t a guy in the minors who can’t suck that bad for us at a lower price than 1.635 million dollars? Seriously? I don’t really think he was ever really that great. For the better part of his career, his ERA struggled to stay under 5. Many seasons saw Durbin pitching much worse than that. His career ERA eats my ass and I really don’t see why such a shitty overall player (for his career) sees a raise coming soon from 1.635 mill. That’s bananas. Sorry, Mr. THE PHILLIES FILES guy. I can’t agree with you here.
BTW… Everyone’s saying Lidge won’t be ready for the start of the season. Not that he’s been any good or anything, but who is going to be our closer come opening day? Madson? Holy shit.
Jamie Moyer… or lack there of.
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Free Agency, injuries on January 11th, 2010
Not too long ago, Jamie sprayed champagne all over the walls. This year, it's feces.
I figured the first post of the new year should include a popped bottle of champagne. It seemed/seems timely, so why not?
Alright, that’s all I’m going to say about champagne.
Is Jamie Moyer dying? Seriously – his blood is deteriorating, he’s old as shit, and I feel like he shadily gets rushed to the ER bi-weekly. Is it just me, or is the guy that’s projected to be our fifth-starter going to be warming up before games in a tomb?
In other news… The Phillies signed Danys Baez to a two-year deal and hope he can pick up the slack. The bullpen sucked last year and that is no secret. Brad Lidge is the poster child for nervous ninnies around the globe and clips of Pujols rocking his shit into night have resurfaced. Life has certainly sucked in that department for mole boy and Phils fans alike.
What is our bullpen going to look like? I can’t just sit around and accept that Ruben is going to scrape up some sourpuss that is pissed off in March over the fact that he couldn’t command a reasonable offer to match his skill set. I hate bargain hunting. Sure – it is troubling to some that a team that’s been to the World Series two years in a row can’t just go out and sign someone GOOD if they want to, but I’ve already spoken about why we can’t do that.
Chad Durbin? J.C. Romero (don’t give a fuck if he took drugs; can he still play)? Who else? Kendrick? Bastardo?
I will point out that projecting bullpen stats for most teams is a fools’ game. With that said, I will be quiet before going any further.
The Phillies have some spending decisions to make
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Coaching, Free Agency, General Thoughts, Mic'd Up, Phillies Rants on November 7th, 2009
Charlie: "I need the same exact players playing the same exact roles as they did last year, even if they are ineffective... Patrick, get back over here and start re-collecting your 14 million dollar yearly paychecks again, we need YOUU AHHHHMFKMAfsdff!!!!"
A lot of you have been talking about the Phillies’ current financial state in light of free agency/the offseason. Already we have seen Cliff Lee’s thrift-store-esque $9 million team option exercised. We have also seen, as stated in the last post, Brett Myers leave without a contract offer.
Amaro has stated that his payroll will be around 130-140 million dollars. We will likely see ourselves locked up for around $125-130 million before we sign any free agents/trade for someone. (Side note: we are paying those pieces of shit known as Geoff Jenkins and Adam Eaton a combined $2 million dollars this year… ugh)
Article of the Future: Charlie Manuel pleas with Ruben Amaro Jr. to bring back Adam Eaton in the interest of loyalty... HE PLAYED HERE IN 2008, WE NEED HIM!
A couple of things I’d like to point out/talk about (in no real order):
1. If Brad Lidge is fucking up, we need to deal for a new closer. I can’t do last season all over again. If he’s going to play like shit, we have to deal for a closer. Period. Fuck ‘loyalty,’ Charlie. I don’t want to hear it. There is no way IN HELL we can settle for 2009 Brad Lidge in 2010. For a team that wants to compete, that is retarded. I don’t think we can afford to sign a closer right now (we have Lidge signed to a big contract and you know they’re going to try their luck with him again because of it), but like I said, if he sucks again… we NEED to get someone to do that job during the season.
2. Victorino, Blanton, Ruiz, and Durbin will all likely see pay raises. Do I really think Durbin deserves a raise through arbitration after the shitty season he had? No, I don’t. Chooch was Senor Octubre, but over the course of the season, he wasn’t anything spectacular (not that I mind, just saying.) Blanton had a good year, and Shane deserves a raise — ‘no questions asked.’
"Son, I promise I'll be able to afford pants for you to wear once I get this raise..."
3. It would be a good idea to re-sign Scott Eyre and Chan Ho Park. Eyre is a great clubhouse guy that can get the job done out of the bullpen, and Chan Ho was great for us when he settled into his relief role. As long as they’re willing to come back at a reasonable asking price, I’m down.
4. We need a fucking bench – seriously. The problem is that the free agent pool seems to be full of players that are past their prime and will want to start, and guys who will want more than they’re worth (which is partly going to be due to a weak free agent crop.)
5. Regarding Pedro Feliz, Ruben Amaro Jr. said:
“He had a solid year for us,” Amaro said. “I like the man personally. He’s a great person, a great teammate, but I also believe in trying to improve and change can be for the better. It doesn’t necessarily mean we’re going to, but it’s something that we’ll look into.”
For the most part, I agree with this. While I don’t like Pedro Feliz, there aren’t many options available at third base. Kudos to Ruben for telling it like it is.
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This offseason:
Given the pay raises that we will likely see out of the guys we will actually keep, we’ll probably have $20 million to spend at the most. With that, we need to revamp our bench and fix our bullpen. Starting pitching is the next biggest concern, and then, lastly, we should address third base (the only part of our everyday lineup that I’m not satisfied with.)
The Phillies have a lot of guys that can be starting pitchers in the majors, but they do not have a lot of guys that would be good at it. In hindsight, Jamie Moyer should have gracefully retired after we won the World Series last year. I really don’t want him to be guaranteed a spot in the rotation on Opening Day, but I’m sure we all know that that’s going to be the case. We’re going to have to sit through him getting rocked for 5-10 starts before Drabek/Kendrick takes his place.
I’m oddly optimistic about Kyle Kendrick. He seemed to have better stuff when he came up late last season. What we do know about Drabek is that, even if he starts as a rookie and pitches for an ERA under 3 during the season, he won’t smell any playoff action, because it will be more important to pitch guys like Durbin and Madson (even if they put 10000000…00000…00000 runners on base per appearance… YOU MUST BE LOYAL. Fuck JA Happ. l8uh – cholly.)
YOU DID NOT PLAY MUCH LAST YEAR, SO YOU CANNOT PLAY THIS YEAR$@#@ LOL - Charlie Manuel (photo courtesy of thefightins.com)
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Past next season:
Not sure you get paid more or less for looking like Edge
The Phillies have Jimmy Rollins (club option), Ryan Howard, Brad Lidge, Raul Ibanez, Cole Hamels, Ryan Madson coming off of the books after the 2011 season. To me, it is very possible that none of these guys will be re-signed. Ryan Howard will get many offers from other teams that will overpay him for way too many years, and it will be hard for him to turn that down. I personally do not want Ryan Howard until he’s 40 years old, and you know someone’s going to offer to sign his checks until then… and pay him handsomely in the process. If Cole can get his head back on straight, we will probably do whatever we can to keep him, but if he doesn’t, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him walk, either.
It is important to keep in mind that we will need to re-sign Jayson Werth and Cliff Lee next year. Both are eligible for free agency at that time. Cliff Lee is going to want a LOT of money (the guy hasn’t gotten a good contract yet and he could very possibly be looking for something long term with a lot of zeroes.) We have Werth going into the last year of the extension we signed him to, and he’s making $7.5 million. In my opinion, I think we’ll see him ask for something in the ballpark of $12-13 million, maybe more. We have to decide if what he’s asking is worth it. He can do it all, but he’s not a young guy. He’ll be 31 next offseason, and I think negotiations will depend heavily on how many years he’s willing to accept. To me, he’s worth the money, and his body hasn’t seen as much wear-and-tear as a guy his age would have by now. Overall, the amount of games he has played in isn’t even the equivalent of 4 full seasons. He’s seen less action in the big leagues than the typical 30-year-old big leaguer, and that’s definitely a good thing.
The New Big Red Machine
Posted by Bay Slugga in Breaking News, Game Summaries, Playoffs and World Series on October 22nd, 2009
Two years, and two National League Pennants.
This will never get old.
We are all witnessing something very special, and our Philadelphia Phillies may be the best this city will ever see. The players haven’t been complacent after last year’s magical run, and they are obviously hungry for more World Series glory. Jimmy Rollins summed it up best in saying that winning once wasn’t good enough, they want to go down in history with teams like the Reds, Yankees, and Red Sox.
Hopefully they’ll be calling us the Little Red Machine
While you may be a little guy, Jimmy, I assure you their is nothing small about this team – I’m going to stick with the New Big Red Machine.
We like NASCAR team! Now go to World Series!
What went down: With their foot on the gas, and Chase Utley’s blunder in the rear-view mirror, the Phillies finished off the Los Angeles Dodgers at Citizen’s Bank Park to clinch their second consecutive National League Pennant. Cole Hamels was ineffective once again, as he surrendered three runs over four long innings. Vincente Padilla didn’t fair any better, as he allowed six runs to cross over three innings of work. The big blow that got the party started was Jayson Werth’s three-run homerun in the first inning after Padilla walked both Utley and Howard. All and all, the bullpen did a fine job of bailing out Hamels after an early exit. Chad Durbin, J.A. Happ, Chan Ho Park, and Ryan Madson all did a great job of keeping the Dodger’s at bay and coasting to the victory. Brad Lidge came in and worked a 1-2-3 ninth inning, and showed a swagger that Phillies fans haven’t seen since this time last year. Credit to Charlie Manual for sticking with his closer, and credit to Lidge for really delivering when his team has needed him.
The Power of Werth Compels You!
What I liked: Jayson Werth. You only had a few hits this entire NLCS, but boy do you know how to time them. You launched two homeruns tonight, and are now the Phillies leader for extra basehits in the postseason – wow. You really exemplify what this Phillies team is all about. CC and Pettitte should be afraid, very afraid.
Chad Durbin. I’m going to go out on a limb and and say that this is the first time you have been under the “What I liked” section of 4DR. You picked a hell of a time to make your mark, and you pitched a hell of game in relief. You fucking owned Manny – keep it going.
Shane Victorino. You put the champagne game on ice with you’re moonshot homerun in the 6th. I love how former Dodgers really came back to bite their old club. Save a few more for CC please? K, thx, byez.
Brad Lidge. You’re back from the dead, Brad. What else can I say?
Chan Ho Park. You were absolutely filthy this NLCS. Brett Myers who?
MVP! MVP! MVP!
Ryan Howard. Your fantastic postseason continues, congratulations. You are an absolute force in the middle of our lineup, and like Werth, you strike fear into the hearts of opposing pitchers. Who is capable of getting you out? Phil Coke? Please.
What pissed me off: No Harry Kalas 
Can somebody explain to me: how Mets fans must be feeling? I’m not rubbing in our success (not yet anyway), but it must be a shitty feeling to field such a shitty team and then have the Yankees and the Phillies meet in the World Series.
Now what: We wait. Though I’m basically assuming the Yankees will beat the Angels in Game 5 of the ALCS, I suppose it is possible that the series could get interesting.
Way to Get Back On the Fuckin’ Horse, Boys!
Posted by Even Stevens in Game Previews, Phillies Rants on July 24th, 2009
What went down: After a sloppy game yesterday in which the Phils finally lost, the boys in red got back on the horse today and continued their winning ways. For those of you keeping track at home, that is 15 wins in their last 17 games. Hole Lee Shit. Cole Hamels pitched a beautiful game aside from a hiccup in the 4th inning, going 7 strong while giving up 3 runs. Everybody in the starting lineup got a hit tonight, which is always good to see. After pounding on the Padres’ starter Kevin Correia early in the game, the Phils never looked back and the Fathers could never catch up.
Well, Jimmy scored in the second inning so you knew what that meant.
What I liked: Cole Hamels. Were those…balls…that you showed tonight?! I mean, you gave up a couple hits in the 4th inning and San Diego got on the board with a 3-spot. Normally this is where your vagina bleeds and then you throw a temper tantrum. Instead, you took a page out of the 2008 Cole Hamels media guide and got back on track. It was good to see. I hope this is the start of something good and that your effort tonight is what we can come to expect of our NEW #2 STARTER. I mean, if we get Halladay. ;-)
The lineup. Instead of singling out individual players, I’m just going to give props to the entire lineup tonight. Everybody was hitting, and nobody had a really bad game at the plate. It’s good to see you jump all over a shitty pitcher and never let him get settled. You guys did a good job tonight, and when you are able to put 9 runs on the board you’re going to win 98% of your games.
Chan Ho Park. Dude I fuckin love you.
Andrew Carpenter. I mean, I guess. You gave up the one meaningless run tonight, but you pitched an inning for a bullpen that was in need of a guy to pitch an inning. I’m glad you got the call-up, too, because I couldn’t stand to see Kyle Kendrick trot out of the bullpen in another game.
Look dickwad, you don't have to be a sneaky liar and hide things from people just because you look like Leonardo DiCaprio in The Departed.
Now what: The struggling Cardinals and their goofy ass mustaches come into town for a weekend set. I’m trying to have The Phillies just sweep everybody. And I’m pretty sure the end of this series will mark the beginning of the Doc in Philly era. Not Julius Erving, either.