Posts Tagged chooch
Ky-Guy is kicking that ass!
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Ballplayer Lifestyle, Spring Training on March 8th, 2010
If you’ve visited 4DaysRest with any rate of frequency over the past couple of weeks, you may have noticed the alarming tone conveyed in posts. I am no stranger to such behavior, as I succumbed to flipping the fuck out on Greg Dobbs about a week ago over a comment he made during… Spring Training!
This is a time to be happy! Fuck yeah, d00d! So, with that said, enough of this shit:
… because:
a) Recording shit that happens on your TV via your VHS player and later uploading it to YouTube is white trash.
b) If you own a Hibachi TV, you are white trash.
c) It’s fucking SPRING TRAINING — the time where Phillies fans get to bask in the glory of things like:
- The battle over who wins the #5 starter job, who settles for the middle relief job and who takes the #5 starter spot a month and a half into the season after the guy that originally won it gets a bad case of elbow tendonitis
- Overrating our own prospects because they hit homeruns off of the other team’s 30-year-old, stuck-forever-in-Triple-A starting pitcher (I’m being a jackass, but it was cool pretending at one point last year that Jason Donald was going to be ‘the man’ some day)
- Watching Domonic Brown pwn bitches like it ain’t no thang
I want to talk about something positive for a moment: Kyle Kendrick is kicking ass so far. I know it’s early, but I’ve heard that he’s worked on some new pitches, he’s built some confidence, and according to Chooch, he’s like a totally new pitcher out there. We have a very, very solid top-4 in our rotation, but I think if Kendrick can put it all together (or at least most of it), it would be awesome. So far, he’s pitched five scoreless innings on two outings. It’s early, as I said, but it’s promising.
Like I said: confident.... wait, wrong picture LOL
Blogger Bitch Fight
Posted by Dickie Assburn in General Thoughts, Mic'd Up, Phillies Rants, injuries on January 18th, 2010
Sorry if you're one of the women fighting in this picture... I would've asked for permission, but we all know you're both too trashy to have any idea what copyright infringement is anyway.
I always like to pretend I’m writing about something timely (and by ‘always’ I mean my last two entries), and ‘bitch fights’ are actually very timely. Over at NBC, Conando and Jay ‘Wake up-shitty monologue-star guests-Kevin Eubanks-shitty band-go to bed’ Leno are involved in a bitch fight over who gets to speak directly after the local news. Conan shits all over Jay’s life – this is something we all know and love. However, how many people actually watch these two? Everyone loves to say ‘I Love Conan!!!!!!’ but how many people actually watch him every night? The same can be said for Jay Leno. No one really watches them. They just want to take sides and talk shit whenever they can… and such is the human condition.
Notice: Conan = Matt Damon creeping around town in The Departed aka bad ass. Leno = Mehhh can you tell I just got raped or nahhh mehhh???
So how about I instigate a public uproar over something people actually do consistently care about, like baseball blog sites? (lolol)
If you follow the Phils during the off-season (a period in time I cannot stand) then you’ve realized that the arbitration hearings are going to be underway soon. Victorino, Chooch, and Joe Fuckin Blanton are all guys that are due to receive raises, and to (at least) some degree, I’d say they’ve all earned them.
Enter Chad Durbin, the guy made about 1.635 million last year and had an ERA on the really wrong side of 4.
Here is something I read that was published on ‘THE PHILLIES FILES’:
Durbin, 32,earned $1.635 million in 2009. Although his numbers are a little down from 2008 (he had a 4.39 ERA in 59 games in 2009 compared to the 2.87 ERA he posted in 71 games in 2008), he’s still due for a raise. This isn’t someone the Phillies should neglect. He’s more valuable than many realize, especially considering he’s one of the few returning to a much-broken up bullpen.
You mean to tell me there isn’t a guy in the minors who can’t suck that bad for us at a lower price than 1.635 million dollars? Seriously? I don’t really think he was ever really that great. For the better part of his career, his ERA struggled to stay under 5. Many seasons saw Durbin pitching much worse than that. His career ERA eats my ass and I really don’t see why such a shitty overall player (for his career) sees a raise coming soon from 1.635 mill. That’s bananas. Sorry, Mr. THE PHILLIES FILES guy. I can’t agree with you here.
BTW… Everyone’s saying Lidge won’t be ready for the start of the season. Not that he’s been any good or anything, but who is going to be our closer come opening day? Madson? Holy shit.
If it smells like Marlin, it’s probably just Maybin’s crotch
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Game Summaries, Phillies Rants, Playoffs and World Series on October 3rd, 2009
Cameron Gaybin spreading them legs for the Monte Carlos... but Chooch don't get down like that....
I’m sorry if I’ve done nothing but talk shit on the Phillies since I’ve gotten here, but what else have I been able to do? Joe Fuckin’ Blanton pitched a terrible game last night, and he, along with the rest of the starting staff/most of the relievers, are totally shitting the bed.
“I was a bit laxed in the first inning,” Blanton said. “Then I turned it on a little bit, but by then it was already too late.”
Is he fucking serious? What a slap in the face to all of us. This pig-molester-looking-piece-of-shit won’t convince ME that he wants homefield with these types of comments.
Cole: you better show up tonight. That’s all I’m saying.
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Side note: I think it was Bay Slugga that said this, but something is wrong with Chase Utley. He’s batting like absolute shit. I’m sure we’ll hear in November sometime that he was battling through some injury all this time.
De La Rosa, You’re My Bitch
Posted by Bay Slugga in Game Summaries on August 5th, 2009
Jimmy Rollins texted me after my post this afternoon and said he’d win it for me tonight. Thanks man <3.
What went down: The Phillies snapped their losing streak tonight, while pounding Jorge De La Rosa for three homeruns and seven earned runs. J.A. Happ pitched brilliantly to earn his 8th win of the season behind a complete game shutout. Tonight was classic Phillies 2009 baseball – homeruns, sound defense, and a dirty Happ. It was really nice to see our hitters work some counts after a few consecutive games of batting like they were about to shit their pants. All around a great bounce-back win.
Who and what pissed me off: Tmac. So obviously we always rag on McCarthy here, but he was down right awful tonight. His opening montage narration was awful, and he regularly fucks up calls from inning to inning. I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I would prefer nine innings of Wheels and Sarge. No doubt.
Notice his huge balls bursting out of his pants
What I liked: Happ. You are the fucking man bro. If I ever see you out, I’ll definitely buy you a beer, or maybe some coke if thats what you are in to. Not only did you fucking dominate, but you also sent a message to Amaro about the possibility of you going back to the pen (more on that tomorrow). You have some big balls and you show it on the mound despite trade rumors and such. Your line speaks for itself, and you are well on your way to ROY – Oh yea, nice double in the 8th.
Pedro Feliz. You worked a great AB tonight when you hit your homerun, and then you stroked a nice single to right later on. I love it when you don’t swing like you’re swatting flys, and you had some nice swings tonight.
Chooch. You are in the same boat as Feliz, and you had a nice night at the plate. Keep it going.
Ryan Howard. You have been awful the last few days, and you put some good swings on the ball tonight. Your RBI single in the first almost gave me a semi.
Can someone please explain to me: Why Happ would be replaced by Pedro? This fucking kid has been our best pitcher this year, and if he is sent to the pen someone needs to be crucified. Fuck Moyer’s tenure, and fuck Pedro’s legacy. Happ has been lights out and he has earned his spot.
Why Charlie put Utley, Howard, and Ibanez together against a lefty? I know we won the game tonight, but going into the game this seemed like a bonehead move to me. Tonight would of been a great night to give Ibanez a breather and start Fransico.
Now what: The Phillies will go for the series win tomorrow when Cliff Lee goes against Aaron Cook. If it wasn’t electric enough tonight at CBP, tomorrow it should be rockin when Lee throws his first pitch.
Tidbits: Pedro Martinez had a solid outing tonight in his rehab assignment, pitching six innings of four run ball (only three of which were earned) while striking out eleven. Interesting…
Text from WTT: “Congrats to Cole Hamels for being our fourth best pitcher.”