Posts Tagged jamie moyer
Jamie Moyer… or lack there of.
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Free Agency, injuries on January 11th, 2010

Not too long ago, Jamie sprayed champagne all over the walls. This year, it's feces.
I figured the first post of the new year should include a popped bottle of champagne. It seemed/seems timely, so why not?
Alright, that’s all I’m going to say about champagne.
Is Jamie Moyer dying? Seriously – his blood is deteriorating, he’s old as shit, and I feel like he shadily gets rushed to the ER bi-weekly. Is it just me, or is the guy that’s projected to be our fifth-starter going to be warming up before games in a tomb?
In other news… The Phillies signed Danys Baez to a two-year deal and hope he can pick up the slack. The bullpen sucked last year and that is no secret. Brad Lidge is the poster child for nervous ninnies around the globe and clips of Pujols rocking his shit into night have resurfaced. Life has certainly sucked in that department for mole boy and Phils fans alike.
What is our bullpen going to look like? I can’t just sit around and accept that Ruben is going to scrape up some sourpuss that is pissed off in March over the fact that he couldn’t command a reasonable offer to match his skill set. I hate bargain hunting. Sure – it is troubling to some that a team that’s been to the World Series two years in a row can’t just go out and sign someone GOOD if they want to, but I’ve already spoken about why we can’t do that.
Chad Durbin? J.C. Romero (don’t give a fuck if he took drugs; can he still play)? Who else? Kendrick? Bastardo?
I will point out that projecting bullpen stats for most teams is a fools’ game. With that said, I will be quiet before going any further.
The Phillies have some spending decisions to make
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Coaching, Free Agency, General Thoughts, Mic'd Up, Phillies Rants on November 7th, 2009
Charlie: "I need the same exact players playing the same exact roles as they did last year, even if they are ineffective... Patrick, get back over here and start re-collecting your 14 million dollar yearly paychecks again, we need YOUU AHHHHMFKMAfsdff!!!!"
A lot of you have been talking about the Phillies’ current financial state in light of free agency/the offseason. Already we have seen Cliff Lee’s thrift-store-esque $9 million team option exercised. We have also seen, as stated in the last post, Brett Myers leave without a contract offer.
Amaro has stated that his payroll will be around 130-140 million dollars. We will likely see ourselves locked up for around $125-130 million before we sign any free agents/trade for someone. (Side note: we are paying those pieces of shit known as Geoff Jenkins and Adam Eaton a combined $2 million dollars this year… ugh)

Article of the Future: Charlie Manuel pleas with Ruben Amaro Jr. to bring back Adam Eaton in the interest of loyalty... HE PLAYED HERE IN 2008, WE NEED HIM!
A couple of things I’d like to point out/talk about (in no real order):
1. If Brad Lidge is fucking up, we need to deal for a new closer. I can’t do last season all over again. If he’s going to play like shit, we have to deal for a closer. Period. Fuck ‘loyalty,’ Charlie. I don’t want to hear it. There is no way IN HELL we can settle for 2009 Brad Lidge in 2010. For a team that wants to compete, that is retarded. I don’t think we can afford to sign a closer right now (we have Lidge signed to a big contract and you know they’re going to try their luck with him again because of it), but like I said, if he sucks again… we NEED to get someone to do that job during the season.
2. Victorino, Blanton, Ruiz, and Durbin will all likely see pay raises. Do I really think Durbin deserves a raise through arbitration after the shitty season he had? No, I don’t. Chooch was Senor Octubre, but over the course of the season, he wasn’t anything spectacular (not that I mind, just saying.) Blanton had a good year, and Shane deserves a raise — ‘no questions asked.’

"Son, I promise I'll be able to afford pants for you to wear once I get this raise..."
3. It would be a good idea to re-sign Scott Eyre and Chan Ho Park. Eyre is a great clubhouse guy that can get the job done out of the bullpen, and Chan Ho was great for us when he settled into his relief role. As long as they’re willing to come back at a reasonable asking price, I’m down.
4. We need a fucking bench – seriously. The problem is that the free agent pool seems to be full of players that are past their prime and will want to start, and guys who will want more than they’re worth (which is partly going to be due to a weak free agent crop.)
5. Regarding Pedro Feliz, Ruben Amaro Jr. said:
“He had a solid year for us,” Amaro said. “I like the man personally. He’s a great person, a great teammate, but I also believe in trying to improve and change can be for the better. It doesn’t necessarily mean we’re going to, but it’s something that we’ll look into.”
For the most part, I agree with this. While I don’t like Pedro Feliz, there aren’t many options available at third base. Kudos to Ruben for telling it like it is.
———————————————
This offseason:
Given the pay raises that we will likely see out of the guys we will actually keep, we’ll probably have $20 million to spend at the most. With that, we need to revamp our bench and fix our bullpen. Starting pitching is the next biggest concern, and then, lastly, we should address third base (the only part of our everyday lineup that I’m not satisfied with.)
The Phillies have a lot of guys that can be starting pitchers in the majors, but they do not have a lot of guys that would be good at it. In hindsight, Jamie Moyer should have gracefully retired after we won the World Series last year. I really don’t want him to be guaranteed a spot in the rotation on Opening Day, but I’m sure we all know that that’s going to be the case. We’re going to have to sit through him getting rocked for 5-10 starts before Drabek/Kendrick takes his place.
I’m oddly optimistic about Kyle Kendrick. He seemed to have better stuff when he came up late last season. What we do know about Drabek is that, even if he starts as a rookie and pitches for an ERA under 3 during the season, he won’t smell any playoff action, because it will be more important to pitch guys like Durbin and Madson (even if they put 10000000…00000…00000 runners on base per appearance… YOU MUST BE LOYAL. Fuck JA Happ. l8uh – cholly.)

YOU DID NOT PLAY MUCH LAST YEAR, SO YOU CANNOT PLAY THIS YEAR$@#@ LOL - Charlie Manuel (photo courtesy of thefightins.com)
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Past next season:

Not sure you get paid more or less for looking like Edge
The Phillies have Jimmy Rollins (club option), Ryan Howard, Brad Lidge, Raul Ibanez, Cole Hamels, Ryan Madson coming off of the books after the 2011 season. To me, it is very possible that none of these guys will be re-signed. Ryan Howard will get many offers from other teams that will overpay him for way too many years, and it will be hard for him to turn that down. I personally do not want Ryan Howard until he’s 40 years old, and you know someone’s going to offer to sign his checks until then… and pay him handsomely in the process. If Cole can get his head back on straight, we will probably do whatever we can to keep him, but if he doesn’t, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him walk, either.
It is important to keep in mind that we will need to re-sign Jayson Werth and Cliff Lee next year. Both are eligible for free agency at that time. Cliff Lee is going to want a LOT of money (the guy hasn’t gotten a good contract yet and he could very possibly be looking for something long term with a lot of zeroes.) We have Werth going into the last year of the extension we signed him to, and he’s making $7.5 million. In my opinion, I think we’ll see him ask for something in the ballpark of $12-13 million, maybe more. We have to decide if what he’s asking is worth it. He can do it all, but he’s not a young guy. He’ll be 31 next offseason, and I think negotiations will depend heavily on how many years he’s willing to accept. To me, he’s worth the money, and his body hasn’t seen as much wear-and-tear as a guy his age would have by now. Overall, the amount of games he has played in isn’t even the equivalent of 4 full seasons. He’s seen less action in the big leagues than the typical 30-year-old big leaguer, and that’s definitely a good thing.
Jamie Moyer Loves to do it Doggystyle
Posted by Bay Slugga in Ballplayer Lifestyle, Mic'd Up on September 30th, 2009
Get Well Soon
OMG BRAD LIDGE – LIGHTS OUT – YES!! WORLD SERIES HERE WE COME!!
Posted by Even Stevens in Game Summaries on August 29th, 2009
What went down: First of all, I’d like to point out that anybody who’s all fired up about that win tonight is justified. If you’re all fired up about the Brad Lidge save though, let’s give it a minute before we anoint him as our savior again. Yes, he looked good, but it’s one save. He’s been more inconsistent lately than myself in bed with a LADY.
Now that I’ve gotten that off my tits, a little more light housekeeping before we get to the game: I apologize for my lack of posting lately, but I now have a job that completely owns my life and my posting abilities are crunched to a minimum because of that. We missed the recap from last night’s loss because WTT and I were at the Blink 182/Weezer concert. And according to Tom Delonge, we were so fucking awesome. But I digress. We’re back tonight, and you’re welcome.
The Phillies hung on to beat the Atlanta Braves 4-2 behind Ryan Howard and Jamie Moyer. “Wait…didn’t Pedro Martinez start the game, though?” Yes, he did, internal voice. But then a rain delay disallowed him from coming back out (again) and Jamie Moyer was all like “1-2-3 DOMINATE!” Ryan Howard belted two home runs (36, 37) to continue his torrid pace through August. Then Ryan Madson almost ruined everything before escaping a 2-out bases-loaded jam in the 8th after he had just let up a run to make it 4-2. Brad Lidge came on in the 9th and was like “Fuck ya’ll haterz,” tossing a 1-2-3 inning and locking it down.
What I liked: Pedro Martinez. Once again, you looked good early on before being bitten by the rain bug. I know it’s frustrating, and it’s hard to get stretched out and get your real-game innings in, but you need to hang in there.
Ryan Howard. MEH! Everything that comes off your bat lately is a homer, which makes me think that you’re productive in all facets of life at the moment as well. Every shit you take is probably a full, solid log. Every cum shot you shoot on your white girlfriend’s ass is probably a 7-rope, Peter North-sized load. And every rhyme you write is probably golden, ready to be pressed and sealed at the Bay Slugga Records factory.

"PEACE, BITCH!"
Jamie Moyer. You tossed 4.1 very effective innings tonight. Once again, you have proven that Ruben Amaro made the correct decision in moving you to the bullpen for the long-man role. It has worked out in both of Pedro’s rain-shortened starts. You’re pitching better out of the bullpen than you were as a starter, so why ruin a good thing? Stay where the fuck you’re at, old man.
Brad Lidge. I guess I’m supposed to put your name here since you did your job for once. Nice shaved head too, man. Watching you warm-up tonight felt like a bad imitation of Major League II. “New haircut, same dead arm.” But you got it done, so whatever works. Still, I’d like to point out that Brad Lidge is doing his job at a rate of 74% effectiveness. If I had a 26% failure rate at my job, I’d have been fired on day one. If a Michael Vick had a 26% failure rate, he wouldn’t even have gone to jail for those two years because he would have killed fewer dogs, making the crime only a misdemeanor. Hey — don’t get mad at me, the numbers never lie.
Who and what pissed me off: The rain. Can you fucking chill out? I’m trying to see Pedro do work and get stretched out. It’s difficult to judge his starts when every other one is 2 innings of work.
Raul Ibanez. Ra-ra holy shit you had a triple tonight! Congratulations! Oh wait, I don’t care? Until I start seeing some more productivity out of this guy, I’m going to kill him in this section. Double-plays and strikeouts are BAD, Raul. Remember what April was like when you did the opposite of eat chaffing dickmeat?
Jimmy Rollins and Shane Victorino. Combined 0-for-8? Come on, brah.
Can somebody please explain to me: Why it’s so wrong to want to bang 17-year olds? I’ll tell ya, I was at this concert last night and there were so many hot little…ya know what, I’ll just cut myself off here before I get a knock at my door by the local police.
Now what: CLIFF LEE, bitch. Derrick Lowe and his pock-mark stamped skin can suck it tomorrow night. The game doesn’t even start for another 20 hours but the Braves are DJ AM (see also: dead) already. What…too soon?
Let’s Chill Out With the Moyer is a Team Player Bullshit
Posted by WTT in Broadcasters, General Thoughts, Mic'd Up, Phillies Rants on August 19th, 2009
By now we know that last night Jamie Moyer tossed a terrific six scoreless innings in relief of Pedro Martinez. He was aggressive and efficient in the strike zone and looked nothing like the embattled starter who has had his tits ripped for most of the season. It was a fantastic effort and an integral part of securing a win that could have easily gotten away after three terrible first inning at bats that left the bases loaded without plating any runs. Moyer should be applauded for this.
Okay. Now…
Give me a break with all of this “Jamie Moyer- consumate team guy” crap. Moyer spent much of these season completely oblivious to the fact that he was getting shelled and he acted like a downright jackass upon his demotion to the pen. Last night, CSN ran their daily “Geico Quote of the Day” feature, and took the only excerpt from Moyer’s whiny diatribe that didn’t make him like a complete, self-serving, douche. Throughout the game, T-Mac and Wheels waxed poetic about Moyer’s professionalism and willingness to do whatever it takes to help the club. Hey guys, what about anything Jamie Moyer has said or done to this point would indicate that he’s “all about” being in the ‘pen?

Jamie Moyer Shares His Thoughts About Last Night's Performance
See, this is a common misconception about sports. Just because Moyer went out and pitched six excellent innings and recorded two bases hits does not make Moyer anymore of a team player than had he gone out and gotten pasted. I think it was more likely that he has a chip on his shoulder and wanted to shove it up the collective asses of the naysayers. And I think it was just as likely that after every shutout inning and base hit he was muttering to himself snarky comments under his breath, imploring the Phillies’ brass to suck his balls and things of that nature.
Personally, I don’t care what he says. I don’t care what his motives are. I’ll take these results all day long. But spare me the whole St. Jamie shit.
Pedro + Pappy = Great Success!!!
Posted by Bay Slugga in Game Summaries on August 19th, 2009

Anything you can do, I can do better
What went down: The Phillies took game one of the series at Citizens Bank Park last night behind the combined efforts of Pedro Martinez and Jamie Moyer. Pedro was yanked after three innings due to a lengthy rain delay in the 3rd, and Pappy mopped up what was left in six shutout innings of relief. According to Todd Zolecki, last night was the Phillies’ 51st sellout of the year – cha-ching.
Who and what pissed me off: Ryan Howard. Tonight you went 0-5, with two strikeouts (both with RISP), and you left EIGHT men on base – that is a disgusting number. You did hit two balls fairly well, but the weather didn’t let them hit the seats.
Raul Ibanez. Why is it that I feel like you haven’t had a hit in a month? Your once sparkling batting average is now in the .280 range, and you seem to be striking out left and right. Take some more lessons from Jimmy and get your shit together.
The rain. Pedro’s perm is nowhere near water proof, and your little storm in 3rd knocked our boy out of the game. It wasn’t that Pedro got stiff during the delay; he just couldn’t seem to fix his hair in all that humidity. They say when Pedro’s hair isn’t right he can’t control his change up.
WTT. This fucking guy texts me after Howard-Werth-Ibanez stranded the bases loaded and says “loss.” It’s the first inning – don’t get your panties in a bunch. <3

No usted no puede.
What I liked: Chooooch. You had a good game tonight with three hits and two RBIs.
Jayson Werth. Even though you left six men on base, you had two big hits – kudos to you for actually being able to drive in a run with two outs on your RBI double. You’re going to hit 30 homeruns this year, way to go.
Pedro Martinez. Aside from the fly ball you gave up to Drew, you looked sharp. Your changeup is still filthy, and you don’t seem afraid to throw it in any count. I’m looking forward to you facing off against the Mets this weekend, so don’t let me down.
Jamie Moyer. I was actually considering putting you in the last section, because your outing tonight pissed me off. You’re washed up Moyer, but every once in a while you’ll dazzle some young hitters with smoke and mirrors. Don’t think you made any kind of a statement tonight, either. Your ass is staying in the pen.
Can somebody please explain to me: Why the Diamondbacks play defense like it’s the Special Olympics? Nobody can catch, nobody can throw, and the last two series they have played against the Phillies there have been two games where they just gift wrapped us some runs. I’m not complaining though.

What’s next: Tonight features a great pitching matchup in Cliff Lee versus Dan Haren. The Phillies’ hitters had a great approach against Haren last time around, and ended up beating him with their patience at the plate. Get er done.