Posts Tagged joe blanton
Why MLB should never be the NBA
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Miscellaneous Rants on February 18th, 2010
I’m really not sure how many of you happen to be NBA fans, but I happen to have had an addiction to the sport of basketball since I can remember. I’m not going to talk about basketball at any great length here, and what’s going to be talked about here should be easy to follow.
Today, there was a three-team trade involving the Rockets, Knicks, and the Kings. As the trade deadline loomed over the No Benjamins Association (they’re broke in a bad, bad way), many teams made deals trying to dump salary because they have NO MONEY. A guy by the name of Carl Landry, a young, up and coming power forward, was dealt from the Rockets to the Kings. Normally, if a guy is averaging about 16 and 6 and shooting great from the field, you’d want the guy on your team. And if the guy’s 26-years-old? Throw it in the baggg
Here’s a screenshot of what some guy commenting the ESPN article for the story said about it:
I don’t even know what to say. Yikes. Could you imagine if, say, when the Phillies traded for Joe Blanton, you saw a comment that said:
“Hey it’s carlo checking in from oaktown… yea fatboy blanton was good but he just got shanked so he prob. feels safer in philly. sucks to lose him but we’re getting back a guy that only has holes located on his ears, nose, mouth, asshole, and penis. Seems a bad stroke to me.”
Thank God for baseball, right?
Blogger Bitch Fight
Posted by Dickie Assburn in General Thoughts, Mic'd Up, Phillies Rants, injuries on January 18th, 2010
Sorry if you're one of the women fighting in this picture... I would've asked for permission, but we all know you're both too trashy to have any idea what copyright infringement is anyway.
I always like to pretend I’m writing about something timely (and by ‘always’ I mean my last two entries), and ‘bitch fights’ are actually very timely. Over at NBC, Conando and Jay ‘Wake up-shitty monologue-star guests-Kevin Eubanks-shitty band-go to bed’ Leno are involved in a bitch fight over who gets to speak directly after the local news. Conan shits all over Jay’s life – this is something we all know and love. However, how many people actually watch these two? Everyone loves to say ‘I Love Conan!!!!!!’ but how many people actually watch him every night? The same can be said for Jay Leno. No one really watches them. They just want to take sides and talk shit whenever they can… and such is the human condition.
Notice: Conan = Matt Damon creeping around town in The Departed aka bad ass. Leno = Mehhh can you tell I just got raped or nahhh mehhh???
So how about I instigate a public uproar over something people actually do consistently care about, like baseball blog sites? (lolol)
If you follow the Phils during the off-season (a period in time I cannot stand) then you’ve realized that the arbitration hearings are going to be underway soon. Victorino, Chooch, and Joe Fuckin Blanton are all guys that are due to receive raises, and to (at least) some degree, I’d say they’ve all earned them.
Enter Chad Durbin, the guy made about 1.635 million last year and had an ERA on the really wrong side of 4.
Here is something I read that was published on ‘THE PHILLIES FILES’:
Durbin, 32,earned $1.635 million in 2009. Although his numbers are a little down from 2008 (he had a 4.39 ERA in 59 games in 2009 compared to the 2.87 ERA he posted in 71 games in 2008), he’s still due for a raise. This isn’t someone the Phillies should neglect. He’s more valuable than many realize, especially considering he’s one of the few returning to a much-broken up bullpen.
You mean to tell me there isn’t a guy in the minors who can’t suck that bad for us at a lower price than 1.635 million dollars? Seriously? I don’t really think he was ever really that great. For the better part of his career, his ERA struggled to stay under 5. Many seasons saw Durbin pitching much worse than that. His career ERA eats my ass and I really don’t see why such a shitty overall player (for his career) sees a raise coming soon from 1.635 mill. That’s bananas. Sorry, Mr. THE PHILLIES FILES guy. I can’t agree with you here.
BTW… Everyone’s saying Lidge won’t be ready for the start of the season. Not that he’s been any good or anything, but who is going to be our closer come opening day? Madson? Holy shit.
Update from Winter Meetings
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Breaking News on December 7th, 2009
UPDATE: 12/09, 2:57PM
1) The Phillies have signed pinch hitter Ross Gload to a contract. Gload played for the Royals and Marlins last season and is a lifetime .283 hitter. Not a bad pick up by any means.
2) Twins, Astros and Orioles all have interest in Pedro Feliz.
3) No further word yet on Joe Blanton trade rumors.
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UPDATE 12/08, 11:58AM
1) Brad Penny signed by the Cardinals for one-year, 7.5 million in base salary. This isn’t Phillies news, but it sort of is. If the Cardinals were willing to sign a guy that absolutely sucked last year for 90% of the season for that much money, they might not be too confident that they can re-sign Matt Holliday. That means he might go to the Red Sox, Mariners, Mets (a stretch.) Yankees likely won’t be players, as people have said they are aiming to cut down on their payroll (LOL WTF?!)
2) Phillies have inquired about Aroldis Chapman aka the flamethrowing niño out of Cuba.
3) Phillies were heavily looking at Betancourt, which apparently prompted the Rockies to offer him arbitration. He has since accepted the offer.
4) John Lackey’s agent and the Mets had a long meeting, but it’s unclear whether the Mets are willing to meet his contract demands.
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12/07
Some things to lick on:
1) Phillies are listening to offers on Joe Blanton. Motive? Free up cash for bullpen upgrades.
2) Phillies have met with Brandon Lyon’s agent.
3) Brett Myers’ agent had discussions with the Texas Rangers. Myers wants a multi-year deal, but the Rangers are only offering a one-year deal.
4) Pat Burrell trade rumor was apparently bullshit according to ’sources.’
Why the Phillies Could Still Win This Thing
Posted by Even Stevens in Game Previews, General Thoughts, Playoffs and World Series on November 2nd, 2009
Did you just read the title of my post and laugh? I guess I understand. We’re talking the Yankees here, and we’re down 3-1. There are three games left to be played, and two of them will be in New York. I grant you the fact that it’s certainly a challenge – an insurmountable one in most cases, based on history. That’s all fine and good, but let me tell you why the Phils still have a shot at this thing.
“SO YOU’RE TELLIN’ ME THERE’S A CHANCE!?” Yes, yes there is.
Cliff Lee is on the mound tonight. In 33.1 postseason innings, he has allowed just two earned runs. TWO. Out of the exactly 100 outs that he’s recorded, 30 of them have come on strikeouts. The man is a machine. He’s our ACE and his is why we got him. He has a very good shot at winning this game tonight against AJ Burnett.
If the Phillies can push this series back to New York and force a Game 6, the pitching matchup will be a fully-rested Pedro Martinez against Andy Pettite on 3-days rest. I don’t know about you, but I would call this a wash at worst and I’ll take my chances with that. Pedro may have the advantage due to the rest, but let’s not discount Pettite’s ability to win big games, especially clinchers.
If you get to a Game 7, anything can happen. Of course, I’m being extremely optimistic right now. My bad-loss hangover from this morning has worn off and I’m ready for this team to force the issue and give the Yankees hell. If it gets to a Game 7, that’s where things could get really interesting. There are several scenarios that could play out with regard to the Phillies’ Game 7 starter:
1) Cole Hamels pitches on full rest, despite the fact that he’s been abysmal in the playoffs and has recently stated that he just wants the season to be over. It seems to me like this guy has mentally checked out, but he could be handed the ball in Game 7 situation. The message to Cole would have to be: “Listen man, this is what you wanted. The season is over after tonight. You’re under all the big lights, and this is your chance to make everybody forget about this off year you’ve had. Now go out there and hit A-Rod in the back!”
2) Joe Blanton could pitch on 3-days rest. Blanton hasn’t been good, but he hasn’t been awful during the postseason either. At the very least, you know he can get out there and throw on short rest because he’s a horse. Who knows what you’re going to get in this situation.
3) J.A. Happ could pitch since his arm is well-rested and he’s the only other option who is stretched out to the point where he could make a start. He has not performed well in the postseason and would be a gigantic question mark. Aside from the fact that he’s a rookie and might shit his pants while making a Game 7 start at Yankee stadium, he would be the obvious third choice.
In order for any of this to play out in Game 7 of course, we have to get there. It starts tonight when the Phils hand the ball to Cliff Lee. And even more than that, the bats will need to come alive. Push this shit back on New York’s lap, though, and it’s a whole new ballgame.
I am ashamed of Cole Hamels.
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Free Agency, Game Summaries, Phillies Rants, Playoffs and World Series on November 1st, 2009
What the FUCK is wrong with you?
2008 Cole Hamels showed up for a brief moment. Remember the guy who didn’t give a shit about what the other team did? Remember the guy that didn’t have any endorsement deals, and showed poise on the mound? Remember the guy that was touted as one of the most mature and talented young pitchers in the game today? Remember the guy…
that wouldn’t have fucking SUCKED on a night like last night?
What is his problem? He’s turned into a little sissy bratty bitch. When something doesn’t go his way, he throws temper tantrums visibly on the mound, and completely gives up. Charlie says he would never question his “mental toughness.” Well guess what, Charlie: if you’re too little of a man to do it, I will. Cole, you’ve let everything go to your head, and you expect everything to be easy. You think you are God’s gift to the earth, and that’s partly because we all led you to believe you were after you led us down Broad Street last year… but you are now representing everything that Philadelphia sports should NEVER be.
Oh, and aside from being completely full of yourself, it also turns out that you are a complete dumbass:
“There won’t be any Game 7 if we lose Game 3,” Hamels had said Friday. Quickly doing the math, he laughed. “Well, there could be … sorry,” he said. “I already sunk our ship. No, you have to focus one game at a time, and so that’s kind of — Game 3 is —- where I’m at.”
You are a high-maintenance pussy who pees himself and blames everyone else for his poor bladder control. You SUCK now. Period.
Ryan Howard and Chase Utley have completely lost their confidence. J-Roll talks a big game, but I see a complacent man out on that field. Victorino swung at the shittiest pitches known to man last night, and just looks on with this stupid, blank look on his face anymore.
What happened to the team that made us proud? What happened to the team that had CONFIDENCE and COMPOSURE? The only two C’s we’ll be seeing tonight will be in the form of C.C. Sabathia, who gets the luxury of pitching against Joe Blanton. Who knew it would be more important to make sure Cliff Lee doesn’t hurt himself (a guy we’ll likely only have for one more season) than it would be to try and prevent us from going down 3-1 (which could very well happen unless the Phils light the Yankees up for 8-9 runs tonight.)
Sure, that video camera being there was ridiculous. It should never interfere with gameplay. I’d rather them outrule us ever seeing that angle than have it turn a ball that quite possibly might not have been a home run into a 2-run shot. The point? It was there, it WAS a 2-run homerun, and it opened up the floodgates to even bigger problems.
Jayson Werth and Carlos Ruiz: I feel bad for you guys. Your teammates don’t want to help you win games anymore. Try to keep your heads up.
We got our asses handed to us last night. Kudos to the Yankees for clubbing around Cole’s high school level curveball for base hits and home runs. We need a big turn around tonight, or we’ll be sulking in the shit of what could’ve been for a long, long time.
Joe Blanton in Game 4
Posted by Even Stevens in Breaking News, Enemies, Game Previews, Playoffs and World Series on October 30th, 2009
Charlie Manuel gave word today that Cliff Lee would start in Game 4 to face CC Sabathia. Wait, I mean…no, no, I guess he didn’t say that. It’ll actually be Joe Blanton and his extremely well-rested arm that will pitch in the most important game of my his life when the Phillies take on the Yankees at home on Sunday night.
The Phillies were sort of in a weird position with this situation all along. Cliff Lee has publicly stated that he’s willing to pitch on 3 days’ rest, but I guess the fact that he’s never actually done it before weighed in one Charlie’s decision. We all know who is going to be pitching Game 4 for the Yankees – that oafy, pizza-loving bastard with bear mitts for hands, CC Sabathia. Maybe Charlie Manuel’s thinking for lining up Blanton vs. Sabathia was that they could have a pie-eating contest after the game or something – who the fuck knows.
Anyway, my worry with this move is that Joe Blanton won’t be sharp. The old saying is that if you’re scared, you should get a dog. So here’s hoping that Big Joe will realize it’s the World Fucking Series and pitch with all balls and no excuses.
See you in Philly, you guinea sons of bitches.