Posts Tagged Melky Cabrera
Lest We Forget
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Enemies, Free Agency, General Thoughts, Playoffs and World Series on January 27th, 2010
Off-season baseball writing sucks dick. No one gives enough of a fuck to read any of it, the writers resort to talking about hypothetical signings and trades, and everyone essentially shits themselves trying to keep their job in a mostly dead market.
Well, I don’t get paid, I don’t give a fuck about ‘good journalism’, and I think hypothetical trades are stupid.
I realized today that I forgot about Ben Francisco. I also forgot about Greg Dobbs. Whenever I think about the Phillies throughout the day, I usually just think of our pitching. What I think about is pretty typical, like “why did the Phillies sign Jose Contreras?” The Phillies pitching staff is starting to look like a retirement home.
From left to right: Contreras, Moyer... and uh... I guess I exagerrated a bit
Ben Francisco went 0-for-11 during the postseason. Who does that? Honestly? I must admit that I was very surprised the Phils got as far as they did. NO ONE could hit off the bench. Francisco flat-lined, and I frequently forgot that Dobbs still played for us. Stairs was a drunken waste of a bench spot. Hopefully Gload can help us out in that department, because we really need it. When it stopped being fun to say “Ben Frann-cisss-cooo,” I decided it was time to suggest that we throw batteries at him a la J.D. Drew.
My Super Sweet 2010 Season
BTW… how is Durbin making over 2 million dollars this year? I know I wrote about this already, but come ON. He sucked!
Chase announced that he’s going to be more willing to take breaks during the season than he has been in the past. If he can do this effectively (and by that, I mean doing it to the team’s and his advantage) then I will be happy with that. Chase has a distinct history of trying to play through/hide injuries and he’s clearly a huge part of our team.
————————–
The Yankees signed Randy Winn today, who will likely spell the end of Johnny Damon’s time with the team. I think moves like these make baseball interesting from year to year. The lost Cabrera and Damon but gained Granderson and Winn. As far as offensive production, it’s a wait-and-see game this season for the Yanks. Granderson hasn’t played on teams that are as offensively gifted as the Yankees in the past, but he’s seen production similar to Damon’s over the course of his career. The difference is that he doesn’t bat in as many runs and he hasn’t been doing that for as long. The batting average is pretty inconsistent (last year it sucked), but he does have some power in his bat. I say he could top out around 82 RBIs, but I’d probably bet on less.
Offensively, I doubt they skip a beat by losing Damon. Sure – he had a good playoffs, but I don’t think he ever made/broke a team he was on. He’s always been a ‘pretty good’ player. However, I still hate that monkey-looking motherfucker about as much as I hate Pedro Feliz. I hope he signs with some shitty ass team in the AL so I don’t have to see him too much. If he and Pedro Feliz fucked, they’d make the most monkey-looking children ever created… and we all know Pedro would deliver it.
I found this on the net... it really captures how much of a bitch Pedro is
Lidge Ruins Everything, Phils Stunned 5-4
Posted by WTT in Game Summaries on May 24th, 2009
What went down: J.A. Happ threw six efficient innings and John Mayberry Jr. hit his first Major League home run to lift the Phillies to a 4-2 win. Wait. Wait. What’s that you say? Brad Lidge walked the lead off man in the ninth and was dominated by A-Rod? He what? He gave up a single to Robinson Cano and then didn’t hold him on? He threw a predictable slider to Melky Cabrera and the Phillies lost in gut-wrenching fashion? Oh, my bad. I guess he did fucking do that.
Who and what pissed me off: Brad Lidge. My ire with Lidge has come to a boiling point. That is three blown saves in only eleven opportunities. Again, it’s so hard to crucify a guy that was so crucial to last year’s success, but we are nearly two months through this season and Lidge still doesn’t have it. All the sudden, the new revelation is that he can’t locate his fastball. No shit. I wrote that two weeks ago, bro. It’s extremely irritating to see Madson come in and paint the black with a blazing fastball and a change-up that appears will never reach the plate, while Lidge looks lost. Find the fucking strike zone. He might need to work out the kinks in the seventh inning or at some other point when he can’t ruin everything.
Advice to Lidge: Fastballs that enter this zone may improve your chances of not sucking. Thanks in advance for your consideration.
Jayson Werth. I was obviously more displeased with the fact that he missed the second-inning routine fly ball, but I also didn’t like how he kept his arm out while he chased after it as if to say, “It’s not my fault,” because it was. It looked like Werth’s little spinning Ballerina act out in left field would just be a funny side note to a good win, but that early run loomed large late in the game. Although, Lidge likely would have surrendered a fourth run with the way he pitched yesterday.
What I liked: J.A. Happ. He went six, allowed two runs, was aggressive in the strike zone, and threw an efficient 75 pitches. Ken Rosenthal said the Phillies are looking for one, maybe even two starting pitchers to solidify the rotation. It was only one start, but if Happ can continue with efforts like this, there’s no way that he will be the guy getting replaced.
The Raul. He owns this section. What else is there to say?
Ryan Madson. He varied his change-up and potent fastball on the black of the plate in an impressive eighth-inning. He will still break your heart one or two times a month, but after watching an inning like that, I’m not really sure how that happens.
John Mayberry Jr. Here’s a little diddy for you. The Phils’ right-handed bench bats suck. He has both power and speed. Yes, he will strike out a ton and one game doesn’t define a player, but doesn’t the threat of Mayberry make the bench deeper and, if nothing else, more dangerous? It’s an interesting dilemma- do you let him “develop” in the minors, or do you upgrade the big club’s bench?
Can somebody please explain to me: Why the Hell Fox kept cutting to that one black man wearing the Panama jersey after Mayberry’s home run? First of all, the director must have been like, “Shit. There it goes. Quick, find a black guy who looks somewhat excited in the stands. Boom, there it is. That must be his dad.” Not to mention his father was a fucking Major Leaguer himself, and a pretty good one, too. Did that fucking guy look like a professional athlete to you? Other than that, the guy didn’t even look that excited. He didn’t even get out of his seat. He was shoving a chicken finger down his throat and limply waving his wrists around like he didn’t know where the Hell he was. I could almost understand the gaffe, but if it’s a possible storyline that might be used, you might want to find the fucking guy beforehand.
Now what: The Phils send Cole Hamels to the mound against Sabathia and the Yankees to try to win a series they should have won yesterday. The Phillies have dominated 17 of of the first 18 innings this weekend, and it would be a damn shame to let this series slip away.