Posts Tagged shane victorino
Blogger Bitch Fight
Posted by Dickie Assburn in General Thoughts, Mic'd Up, Phillies Rants, injuries on January 18th, 2010
Sorry if you're one of the women fighting in this picture... I would've asked for permission, but we all know you're both too trashy to have any idea what copyright infringement is anyway.
I always like to pretend I’m writing about something timely (and by ‘always’ I mean my last two entries), and ‘bitch fights’ are actually very timely. Over at NBC, Conando and Jay ‘Wake up-shitty monologue-star guests-Kevin Eubanks-shitty band-go to bed’ Leno are involved in a bitch fight over who gets to speak directly after the local news. Conan shits all over Jay’s life – this is something we all know and love. However, how many people actually watch these two? Everyone loves to say ‘I Love Conan!!!!!!’ but how many people actually watch him every night? The same can be said for Jay Leno. No one really watches them. They just want to take sides and talk shit whenever they can… and such is the human condition.
Notice: Conan = Matt Damon creeping around town in The Departed aka bad ass. Leno = Mehhh can you tell I just got raped or nahhh mehhh???
So how about I instigate a public uproar over something people actually do consistently care about, like baseball blog sites? (lolol)
If you follow the Phils during the off-season (a period in time I cannot stand) then you’ve realized that the arbitration hearings are going to be underway soon. Victorino, Chooch, and Joe Fuckin Blanton are all guys that are due to receive raises, and to (at least) some degree, I’d say they’ve all earned them.
Enter Chad Durbin, the guy made about 1.635 million last year and had an ERA on the really wrong side of 4.
Here is something I read that was published on ‘THE PHILLIES FILES’:
Durbin, 32,earned $1.635 million in 2009. Although his numbers are a little down from 2008 (he had a 4.39 ERA in 59 games in 2009 compared to the 2.87 ERA he posted in 71 games in 2008), he’s still due for a raise. This isn’t someone the Phillies should neglect. He’s more valuable than many realize, especially considering he’s one of the few returning to a much-broken up bullpen.
You mean to tell me there isn’t a guy in the minors who can’t suck that bad for us at a lower price than 1.635 million dollars? Seriously? I don’t really think he was ever really that great. For the better part of his career, his ERA struggled to stay under 5. Many seasons saw Durbin pitching much worse than that. His career ERA eats my ass and I really don’t see why such a shitty overall player (for his career) sees a raise coming soon from 1.635 mill. That’s bananas. Sorry, Mr. THE PHILLIES FILES guy. I can’t agree with you here.
BTW… Everyone’s saying Lidge won’t be ready for the start of the season. Not that he’s been any good or anything, but who is going to be our closer come opening day? Madson? Holy shit.
Placido Polanco close to becoming newest Phillie, more . . .
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Breaking News, Free Agency, NL East Reviews, Phillies Rants on December 3rd, 2009
Welcome back. Please surprise me and become an RBI machine... you won't
I really don’t mean be a brat… but I’m a brat. It’s in my blood. During the happiest of moments, I sometimes attempt to ruin them with a backhanded compliment, or some other sort of sarcasm.
Well, here it is: this signing doesn’t exactly excite me. That’s not sarcasm, and that’s not a backhanded compliment, but it’s how I feel. Placido Polanco has averaged about 60 RBIs a year over the course of his career. Last year, he BARELY played any third base. He’s 34-years-old and we are signing him to a 3-year deal worth $18 million dollars. Knowing the Phillies, that contract is probably back-loaded. We will be paying a 37-year-old Placido Polance probably about $8-9 million in the final year of his contract.
Regardless of the terms, it’s $6 million a year on average. You’re getting extreme unpredictability for $6 million a year over the next 3 years. He hit about .340 3 years ago, 2 years ago he hit .307, and then last year, he hit .285. Like I said before, we don’t get any younger at the position, and we’re asking a guy to be a full-time third baseman at age 34 when he hasn’t even played the position since 2005 (Placido Polanco Fielding Stats).
I never really liked Pedro Feliz. He was the glaring weak point in our offense, but he knew how to man the corner like few others. His seasonal RBI averages trump Polanco’s (pro-rated over his career, games played and at-bats ALL considered) and no one can seriously argue with me that he didn’t play an unrivaled third-base (at least unrivaled by Polanco.)
My point is that if this was the option we were looking at going in, why did we get rid of Pedro Feliz? I don’t really see the point. Pedro couldn’t hit, but he drove in runs. If you attribute Polanco’s failure to do so based on his playing with offensive teams that don’t match the caliber of the Phils’ unit, that argument is often overrated. Raul Ibanez played with shit for most of his career and mashed in a lot of runs. When he got to the Phils, he didn’t see any real improvement. Granted, he slowed down in the second half, but that’s baseball. I’m just saying: as far as the argument goes, it’s points are unfounded.
But I guess there are also good points. Polanco is apparently going to bat second behind Jimmy ‘kiss my dick’ Rollins. Carlos will probably get more RBIs with Shane Victorino batting in the 7-spot (that will be a very good 7-spot hitter, btw.) Polanco is more of a hit for average guy, so if he manages to get on base more than Victorino (I doubt he gets on base noticeably more), we could see a few more RBIs for Howard and Utley. I don’t know – I guess I was just hoping for Figgins/Beltre. I figured if we got Polanco, we might be looking at a DeRosa/Polanco double-signing, but I don’t think we have enough money anymore.
Juan Castro doesn’t excite me. Brian Schneider – meh, could’ve done worse, I guess.
On to the bullpen, I suppose. This isn’t exactly what I’d call a great offseason so far. We better get some quality relievers, or we might not back it back in the NL.
In other news:
"The bitch is back"
Our favorite head-up-ass weasel, Billy Wagner, has squirmed his way back into our lives. I guess he thinks it’s okay to come back to the NL East now that Pat the Bat is gone. I’m sure Pat thought about railing his wife once… but eventually realized she’d probably make his dick taste like baked beans (that’s all they eat at the hickville Wagner residence).
If you are salivating over this image, you are a complete piece of shit.
The Braves signed him to a one-year deal to serve as the replacement rat on the team.
Rat Faced Bastard aka Jeff Francoeur
Thankfully, the offseason is finally starting to heat up. The sports fanboy portion of my life has been REALLY boring without baseball.
The Flyers openly don’t give a shit, the Sixers just signed Allen Iverson (all signs point to NBA suicide), and the Eagles have more concussions than a group of girls that got skull-fucked by Ron Jeremy.
Spring training can’t come sooner.
Running down Assburn Alley, tail tucked, ready to pee the bed.
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Free Agency, General Thoughts on November 15th, 2009
Me as a dog... with a filthy ass tramp-stamp
OK – look: I’m not saying that I’m giving up on our chase for a new third-baseman, but as my ill-will for Pedro Feliz weakens, my support for the free agent crop at the position weakens as well.
Pedro Feliz isn’t too bad of a third-baseman. He plays third great defensively, and he provided 82 RBIs last year. Sure – he fucking sucks compared to the rest of our lineup, but he IS the guy that bats in the 7th hole. I have no idea where to find these stats, but if I could, I’m willing to bet that few/no other teams had a guy in the 7th spot batting in 82 guys last season.
Here’s my deal: Beltre had a terrible year power-wise and that’s what people expect out of his bat. His batting average has been equal to Pedro’s, and he’s coming off of an injury. DeRosa really is probably more suited for a bench role – he’s 35 and coming off of wrist surgery. Polanco (again) hasn’t played much 3rd base.
Here’s my problem: why must we be teased with the idea of bringing in Chone Figgins? It isn’t HAPPENING. As much as I wish it would, it can’t. Facts are that he’s an awesome third basemen and Ruben is penny pinching, so we’re not going to sign him.
The reason why Ruben isn’t making the payroll go a ton over what it was last year, in my opinion, is because in order to keep this team together going forward, we’re going to need to save up. If we’re going to keep Ryan Howard, Cliff Lee, Jayson Werth, Cole Hamels (if he turns in a ‘hey guyz jk in 09′ act next season), Shane Victorino, etc., we’re going to need to save money. Right there, you easily have at least 5 guys who could get at least 10+ million a year, long-term deals in almost any market climate. This HAS to be why Ruben’s exhibiting such prudent spending. If this isn’t why, I move on to my second theory…
Hes a greedy Jewish bastard.
The Phillies have some spending decisions to make
Posted by Dickie Assburn in Coaching, Free Agency, General Thoughts, Mic'd Up, Phillies Rants on November 7th, 2009
Charlie: "I need the same exact players playing the same exact roles as they did last year, even if they are ineffective... Patrick, get back over here and start re-collecting your 14 million dollar yearly paychecks again, we need YOUU AHHHHMFKMAfsdff!!!!"
A lot of you have been talking about the Phillies’ current financial state in light of free agency/the offseason. Already we have seen Cliff Lee’s thrift-store-esque $9 million team option exercised. We have also seen, as stated in the last post, Brett Myers leave without a contract offer.
Amaro has stated that his payroll will be around 130-140 million dollars. We will likely see ourselves locked up for around $125-130 million before we sign any free agents/trade for someone. (Side note: we are paying those pieces of shit known as Geoff Jenkins and Adam Eaton a combined $2 million dollars this year… ugh)
Article of the Future: Charlie Manuel pleas with Ruben Amaro Jr. to bring back Adam Eaton in the interest of loyalty... HE PLAYED HERE IN 2008, WE NEED HIM!
A couple of things I’d like to point out/talk about (in no real order):
1. If Brad Lidge is fucking up, we need to deal for a new closer. I can’t do last season all over again. If he’s going to play like shit, we have to deal for a closer. Period. Fuck ‘loyalty,’ Charlie. I don’t want to hear it. There is no way IN HELL we can settle for 2009 Brad Lidge in 2010. For a team that wants to compete, that is retarded. I don’t think we can afford to sign a closer right now (we have Lidge signed to a big contract and you know they’re going to try their luck with him again because of it), but like I said, if he sucks again… we NEED to get someone to do that job during the season.
2. Victorino, Blanton, Ruiz, and Durbin will all likely see pay raises. Do I really think Durbin deserves a raise through arbitration after the shitty season he had? No, I don’t. Chooch was Senor Octubre, but over the course of the season, he wasn’t anything spectacular (not that I mind, just saying.) Blanton had a good year, and Shane deserves a raise — ‘no questions asked.’
"Son, I promise I'll be able to afford pants for you to wear once I get this raise..."
3. It would be a good idea to re-sign Scott Eyre and Chan Ho Park. Eyre is a great clubhouse guy that can get the job done out of the bullpen, and Chan Ho was great for us when he settled into his relief role. As long as they’re willing to come back at a reasonable asking price, I’m down.
4. We need a fucking bench – seriously. The problem is that the free agent pool seems to be full of players that are past their prime and will want to start, and guys who will want more than they’re worth (which is partly going to be due to a weak free agent crop.)
5. Regarding Pedro Feliz, Ruben Amaro Jr. said:
“He had a solid year for us,” Amaro said. “I like the man personally. He’s a great person, a great teammate, but I also believe in trying to improve and change can be for the better. It doesn’t necessarily mean we’re going to, but it’s something that we’ll look into.”
For the most part, I agree with this. While I don’t like Pedro Feliz, there aren’t many options available at third base. Kudos to Ruben for telling it like it is.
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This offseason:
Given the pay raises that we will likely see out of the guys we will actually keep, we’ll probably have $20 million to spend at the most. With that, we need to revamp our bench and fix our bullpen. Starting pitching is the next biggest concern, and then, lastly, we should address third base (the only part of our everyday lineup that I’m not satisfied with.)
The Phillies have a lot of guys that can be starting pitchers in the majors, but they do not have a lot of guys that would be good at it. In hindsight, Jamie Moyer should have gracefully retired after we won the World Series last year. I really don’t want him to be guaranteed a spot in the rotation on Opening Day, but I’m sure we all know that that’s going to be the case. We’re going to have to sit through him getting rocked for 5-10 starts before Drabek/Kendrick takes his place.
I’m oddly optimistic about Kyle Kendrick. He seemed to have better stuff when he came up late last season. What we do know about Drabek is that, even if he starts as a rookie and pitches for an ERA under 3 during the season, he won’t smell any playoff action, because it will be more important to pitch guys like Durbin and Madson (even if they put 10000000…00000…00000 runners on base per appearance… YOU MUST BE LOYAL. Fuck JA Happ. l8uh – cholly.)
YOU DID NOT PLAY MUCH LAST YEAR, SO YOU CANNOT PLAY THIS YEAR$@#@ LOL - Charlie Manuel (photo courtesy of thefightins.com)
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Past next season:
Not sure you get paid more or less for looking like Edge
The Phillies have Jimmy Rollins (club option), Ryan Howard, Brad Lidge, Raul Ibanez, Cole Hamels, Ryan Madson coming off of the books after the 2011 season. To me, it is very possible that none of these guys will be re-signed. Ryan Howard will get many offers from other teams that will overpay him for way too many years, and it will be hard for him to turn that down. I personally do not want Ryan Howard until he’s 40 years old, and you know someone’s going to offer to sign his checks until then… and pay him handsomely in the process. If Cole can get his head back on straight, we will probably do whatever we can to keep him, but if he doesn’t, I wouldn’t be surprised to see him walk, either.
It is important to keep in mind that we will need to re-sign Jayson Werth and Cliff Lee next year. Both are eligible for free agency at that time. Cliff Lee is going to want a LOT of money (the guy hasn’t gotten a good contract yet and he could very possibly be looking for something long term with a lot of zeroes.) We have Werth going into the last year of the extension we signed him to, and he’s making $7.5 million. In my opinion, I think we’ll see him ask for something in the ballpark of $12-13 million, maybe more. We have to decide if what he’s asking is worth it. He can do it all, but he’s not a young guy. He’ll be 31 next offseason, and I think negotiations will depend heavily on how many years he’s willing to accept. To me, he’s worth the money, and his body hasn’t seen as much wear-and-tear as a guy his age would have by now. Overall, the amount of games he has played in isn’t even the equivalent of 4 full seasons. He’s seen less action in the big leagues than the typical 30-year-old big leaguer, and that’s definitely a good thing.
It Was One Hell of a Ride
Posted by WTT in Game Summaries, General Thoughts, Phillies Rants, Playoffs and World Series on November 5th, 2009
The Phillies flat and thorough 7-3 defeat last night was undoubtedly difficult to watch. Watching Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez fake spontaneous celebratory poses for their “candid” Sports Illustrated cover was excruciating. Just as it is still hard to accept the realization that the 2009 Phillies were short of the pace set by a team of clutch performers that were spawn out of an outrageous 192 million dollar payroll. Still, the Phillies shouldn’t cry poor (they aren’t exactly a budget bunch), nor should they hang there heads in disappointment far beyond the immediate future.
Let this be a lesson kids: You don't always get what you deserve.
We can sit here this morning and curse Pedro Martinez and Charlie Manuel’s faith in him. We can curse Ryan Howard’s incredibly disappointing six-game World Series effort. Hell, we could maybe even curse Shane Victorino’s inability to catch a line drive hit right at him. It would be hiding from the truth not to say that the Phillies spent much of this series coming up small in the biggest of spots, which is something that prior to the last week seemed unimaginable.
Still, if you look at what this team has done over the past two seasons, it’s hard for even this website to rant and rave and curse and yell “trade, cut, kill yourself” at various players. Over the past two years the Phillies have compiled 185 regular season wins, 20 postseason wins, 2 NL Championships, 1 World Series Championship, and took this city and its fans on one Hell of a joyride- one that was unbeknown to this city just 18 short months ago.
In the coming days, this fan base is going to take a beating by those 100 miles north. The truth is, there are some excellent Yankees fans out there that deserve a night like last night over and over again, but I doubt those are the ones that you are going to be hearing from. But as you are taking your beating, just keep this in mind…
I expect more of this next year.
I don’t want to wax poetic, but it’s hard not to add a little perspective to this thing. For me, personally, I’ll never forget celebratory beers being drank, and better yet, splashed around at championship celebrations in South Philly bars. And I won’t forget the hugs with strangers or jumping up and down in a group embrace with my best friends. I think that I speak for the majority of Philadelphia by saying that it’s been so much fucking fun, that while yeah, it hurts, I can’t be anything but proud of this team and thankful for what they’ve given me and everyone else over the last two years.
And, of course, while we must not take anything for granted, it doesn’t hurt to know that the Phillies are a few minor tweaks away from being right back here again. Here’s hoping. And here’s hoping it is New York.
Something to chew on…
Posted by Dickie Assburn in General Thoughts on October 25th, 2009
Who's your daddy???
When Game 6 of the Yankees/Angels series was delayed, I began to think of what that meant for the World Series.
Saunders and Pettitte are going at it tonight. If the series goes into Monday after an Angels win tonight, and the Yankees win on Monday, we might not see C.C. Sabathia until Game 3 in Philadelphia.
Games 1 and 2 would be on very short rest. I know C.C.’s pitched on short rest before, but this would be REALLY short. If he pitches deep into the game on Monday (which I’m sure he would if he was kicking ass in a Game 7), I highly doubt we’d see him pitching again on Thursday. That would be insane.
I’m not scared of C.C. Sabathia, but let’s be real: he’s by far their best pitcher, and he has the highest likelihood to do well against us. Seeing him in Philadelphia would be greatly beneficial to us. He hasn’t played us on a big stage since Victorino smashed a grand slam off of him during last year’s playoffs. If that happens to any real competitor, you know it’s in their head the next time around.
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(If the Yankees win tonight, I really just wasted my time.)